LOS ANGELES, CA — As heated debate continued to rage across the nation and on Capitol Hill over legislation designed to secure U.S. elections, former Vice President Kamala Harris issued a dire warning that the SAVE America Act could result in America being saved.
Babylon Bee
Sad: WNBA Task Force Fails To Define Woman After Spending Entire Meeting Trying To Pick Restaurant For Lunch
LOS ANGELES, CA — A special WNBA task force announced on Thursday that they had been unable to define a woman after several hours of meetings led to a stalemate on where to go to lunch.
Mamdani Grocery Stores To Feature Innovative New ‘Queue Where You Wait For Loaves Of Leavened Flour Products’
NEW YORK, NY — Mayor Zoran Mamdani’s planned city-managed grocery stores were reportedly set to feature an exclusive "Queue Where You Wait For Loaves Of Leavened Flour Products", the mayor’s office confirmed on Thursday.
Karoline Leavitt Prepared For Motherhood After Spending Last Two Years Answering Millions Of Stupid Questions
WASHINGTON, D.C. — Press Secretary Karoline Leavitt has announced that she will be leaving her post in order to be a full-time mom, having prepared herself over the past two years by answering millions of dumb questions.
Top 10 Reasons To Move To Colorado
America’s 38th state is often assumed to be just one giant mountain, but it’s so much more! For example, the state bird is lark bunting. Bet you didn’t know that.
WNBA Brings In Revered Supreme Court Justice To Help Determine What A Woman Is
NEW YORK, NY — Struggling to determine the definition of a woman, the Women’s National Basketball Association decided to bring in a revered Supreme Court Justice to help settle the question.
Massachusetts Democrats Unveil Statue Of Molech At State Capitol
BOSTON, MA — The state’s Democratic leaders proudly unveiled a new bronze statue of the ancient pagan god Molech in front of the state Capitol on Thursday morning, further emphasizing their commitment to promoting child sacrifice.
9 Foolproof Ways To Get Men To Show Up To A Bible Study
Regular Bible study is an important ingredient in a person’s continued spiritual growth, but sometimes men just "don’t wanna." Here are some foolproof tips to get the men in your life to show up to Bible study:
AOC Struggling To Meet Single Men Under Age 90 At Work
WASHINGTON, DC — Representative Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez admitted to friends that it’s been hard to find single men at her workplace under the age of ninety.
Devastating: Francesca Hong Forced To Return Home And Spend Time With Her White Son
MADISON, WI — After suffering a stunning electoral upset, a distraught Democratic governor hopeful Francesca Hong will be forced to return home and spend time with her white son.