WASHINGTON, D.C. — With the nation facing its highest gas prices in years, the Trump administration assured Americans that it is but a small price to pay for accomplishing nothing in Iran.
Babylon Bee
Wife Can’t Wait To Get Out There And Be Horrible At Gardening Again
BOISE, ID — With spring in full swing, one local woman expressed excitement at the chance to finally get back outside and be horrible at gardening again.
8 Scary Facts About Data Centers
AI uses a lot of power, and it needs massive data centers to support it. That’s why, despite data centers having existed for decades, people are suddenly running for the hills. But do they have a reason to be afraid? You be the judge.
MLB Introduces 10-Run Mercy Rule For Boston Red Sox
BOSTON, MA — To keep games from getting out of hand, Major League Baseball announced that it would be implementing a 10-run "mercy rule" for the Boston Red Sox.
Baal Returns From The Bathroom To Find All His Prophets Dead
MOUNT CARMEL — The demon known as "Baal" returned from a bathroom break only to find all of 450 of his prophets dead.
New Polls Show Dead Heat Between ‘Make Everything Worse’ Candidate And ‘Fix Everything’ Candidate
U.S. — New polling data in an ongoing political race showed a dead heat between the "Make Everything Worse" candidate and the "Fix Everything" candidate.
Father Gathers Loved Ones To Break The News That He’s Getting Really Into The Civil War
BANGOR, ME — Local dad David Kemp gathered his family together today to break the news to them that he’s getting really into the American Civil War.
Smart Man Saves Time By Getting Angry Now Instead Of Waiting Until All The Facts Are Known
ALTOONA, PA — Local man Ted Woods got tired of all the time spent getting angry online. "There’s always something new to get angry at each day," Woods said. "And you never know what time the facts will come out confirming the need to get angry — it…
Data Center Built In Theodore Roosevelt’s Head
KEYSTONE, SD — In a historic victory for American infrastructure, the Department of the Interior announced the successful installation of a 50,000-square-foot data center within Mt. Rushmore that can be accessed through Teddy Roosevelt’s mustache.
London Mayor Confused By Protesters Not Chanting ‘Death To Jews’
LONDON — London Mayor Sadiq Khan was deeply confused by protests over the weekend where no one was shouting "Death To Jews."