PARIS — At long last, the Palestinian people finally have a land to truly call their own.
Babylon Bee
Top 10 Reasons To Move To Indiana
Looking to move to a new state? Look no further than Indiana! There are plenty of reasons to move there. Seriously.
Democrats Blame Cuts In USAID For Slowing Communist Takeover Of The West
U.S. — With unrest drawing attention around the globe and the November midterm elections coming up soon, Democrats made it a point to blame President Donald Trump’s cuts to USAID for slowing the communist takeover of the West.
‘BOOOOO!’ Shouts Tucker Carlson At The TV As He Watches Indiana Jones Defeat The Nazis
WOODSTOCK, ME — Shouts of "BOOOO!" could be heard coming from a cabin in the woods as a man later identified as podcast host Tucker Carlson became increasingly frustrated while watching Indiana Jones defeat the Nazis, neighbors said.
Young, Attractive Blonde Woman Somehow Manages To Land Job At Fox News
NEW YORK, NY — Against all odds, a young, attractive blonde woman managed to land a job working at Fox News.
Prison Officials Unsure How To Execute Woman On Ventilator That Is Plugged Into The Wall
NASHVILLE, TN — Prison officials admitted they were unsure how to go about executing a woman who was currently being kept alive by a ventilator that is plugged into a power outlet in the wall.
Archeologists Finally Find Evidence Of Nephilim — Oh, Wait, It’s Just A Yard Skeleton
SAN ANTONIO, TX — A group of archaeologists at the University of Texas in San Antonio excitedly announced the discovery of a massive skeleton that could provide evidence for the existence of the Nephilim. Sadly, however, the bones were ultimately discovered to belong to a giant Halloween yard…
France Persuaded By Protesters’ Arguments After Seeing Them Set Woman’s Face On Fire
PARIS — The broader French populace became persuaded by the justness of the protesters’ cause after seeing them use a homemade blowtorch to set a woman’s face on fire.
Authorities Now Believe FlyDubai Copilot Radicalized By Watching Ms. Rachel Videos
DUBAI — After a preliminary investigation, authorities believe the failed FlyDubai hijacker Hamam Al-Hammami was radicalized online by watching Ms. Rachel videos.
Avoid Getting Charged With Rape At A Ketamine-Fueled Orgy With This One Simple Trick
While the facts are still coming out in the Cornell case, some of the allegations appear to be a total reversal of the accuser’s story from two years ago. It’s left many asking the question: "how can I keep this from happening to me?" Fortunately, you can avoid…