WASHINGTON, D.C. — Following the U.S. Supreme Court’s latest ruling in favor of President Trump, Justice Ketanji Brown Jackson penned a scathing rebuke in a dissenting opinion where she simply wrote "Wakanda Forever."
Babylon Bee
20-Year Veteran VBS Leader Taken Up Into Heaven In Chariot Of Fire During Closing Program
KISSIMMEE, FL — VBS volunteers at First Baptist Church say that their veteran leader of 20 years was taken up into heaven in a chariot of fire during this year’s closing program.
Honest Pastor Brags About His Moderately Attractive Wife
EAST LONGMEADOW, MA — Congregants said Pastor Michael Boldman set a great example of honesty at Fruit of the Cross Church, where he reportedly bragged about his moderately attractive wife.
Massive Terrorist Sleeper Cell Discovered In Massachusetts
CAMBRIDGE, MA — The Department of Homeland Security announced that a massive terrorist sleeper cell was discovered hiding just outside of Boston, Massachusetts.
Wife Offers Husband Compromise: If He Lets Her Get Chickens She’ll Let Him Do All The Work
SALT LAKE CITY, UT — Local woman Rachel Gentry told her husband she’d compromise on her proposal to get a coop full of chickens by letting him do all the work if he let her get the backyard poultry.
Supreme Court Legalizes Trump Presidency
WASHINGTON, D.C. — The Supreme Court issued a ruling this morning that it is legal for President Donald Trump to be the president.
‘God Works All Things Together For Good,’ Mutters Man As He Finds Perfect Parking Spot
SPRINGFIELD, MO — Evidence of things unseen was witnessed by one local believer today, as a man found reassurance of the Lord’s plan in his life after he managed to find the perfect parking spot.
7 Changes Mamdani Is Proposing For New York City
Following his victory in the Democratic Party primary, Zohran Mamdani is now the frontrunner for New York City mayor, and people are wondering what plans he may have in mind for the Big Apple.
Man Holding Out Hope Job Interviewer Will Ask Him How Much He Knows About Batman
NEW YORK — A New Jersey man applying for a job on Wall Street admitted to being nervous going into a job interview at investment banking firm Morgan Stanley and was reportedly holding out hope that the interviewer would ask him how much he knows about Batman.
Pete Hegseth Vows Military Will Not Discriminate Against Chicks, Broads, Or Dames
WASHINGTON, D.C. — Secretary of Defense Pete Hegseth responded to allegations of sexism on Thursday by vowing that the United States military would never discriminate against chicks, broads, or dames.