U.S. — In an explosive new interview, Tucker Carlson laid into Senator Ted Cruz for not knowing the name of the Iranian Ayatollah’s favorite starter Pokémon.
Babylon Bee
Canada Continues Time-Honored Tradition Of Being Worse Than The USA At Everything
SUNRISE, FL — Residents of The Great White North exploded into celebration once again last night, as Canada continued its time-honored tradition of being worse than the United States at everything.
Ayatollah Reveals Big Surprise Was How Much He Saved On Car Insurance By Switching To GEICO
TEHRAN — With the world wondering last night what would come of Iran’s ominous warnings, the Ayatollah revealed today the "surprise that would be remembered for centuries" was how much he had saved on car insurance by switching to GEICO.
British Doctor Arrested For Misgendering Baby He Just Murdered
LONDON — Local obstetrician Doctor Roger Davidson was arrested this morning after he allegedly misgendered the baby he just finished killing.
The Babylon Bee Would Like To Alert Trump That The Los Angeles Dodgers Have Obtained Nuclear Weapons
In light of the recent heightened state of affairs stemming from threats around the globe, The Babylon Bee would like to take the opportunity to alert President Donald Trump that the Los Angeles Dodgers have obtained nuclear weapons.
Board Game Rules Explanation Developing Into Hostage Situation
RIVERSIDE, CA — Responding law enforcement agencies reported this afternoon that an ongoing board game rules explanation had developed into a critical hostage situation.
Wise Trump Suggests Cutting The Temple Mount In Half
WASHINGTON, D.C. — Continuing his quest to bring peace to the Middle East and permanently quell hostilities between Jews and Muslims, President Donald Trump wisely suggested cutting the Temple Mount in half.
Depressed Man Never Considered Just Not Being Depressed
RANCHO CUCAMONGA, CA — Local depressed man Jason Timberleaf admitted Tuesday that he had never considered solving his predicament by just not being depressed.
9 Creative Ways To Achieve Peace In The Middle East
Despite America’s incredible efforts, the Middle East is once again exploding, with peace in the volatile region seemingly as elusive ever. But take heart! Here are nine creative ways that we can actually achieve true and lasting peace in the Middle East:
