MILWAUKEE, WI — While being questioned by authorities following her arrest, FBI agents discovered 17 more illegal aliens hiding in the back of County Circuit Judge Hannah Dugan’s robes.
Babylon Bee
Man Saves Hundreds Of Thousands In Student Loans By Just Learning How To Hate Jews On The Internet
MILLVILLE, NJ — According to sources, college dropout Jack Doulton saved hundreds of thousands of dollars on student loans by simply learning how to hate Jews online for free.
‘Christianity Today’ Announces It Has Converted To Islam
CAROL STREAM, IL — Long-running religious magazine and online publication Christianity Today announced on Friday that it had converted to Islam.
Federal Judge Travels Back In Time To Overturn Trump’s Birth
WASHINGTON, D.C. — According to newly released court documents, a federal judge invented time travel and transported himself to New York in 1946 so he could overturn President Donald Trump’s birth.
Player Drafted By Cleveland Browns Decides To Just Retire Instead
GREEN BAY, WI — A promising young athlete who was drafted by the Cleveland Browns has reportedly decided to just retire.
Ignorant Kids Have No Idea How Cool Dad Is
SLIDELL, LA — According to sources, the children of local father Jaxon Holt are completely ignorant of how cool their dad is.
Neil DeGrasse Tyson Debunks 12 Popular Song Lyrics
Music, while thoroughly enjoyable and a beautiful form of artistic expression, is often full of logical fallacies and outright misinformation. Having an expert separate the truth from the lies can be helpful.
Sad: This Guy Spent $500k On Ivy League Education And All He Knows How To Do Is Chant ‘Free Palestine’
CAMBRIDGE, MA — Local man Asher Grayson, who recently graduated from Harvard with a degree in neuroscience, confessed he feels woefully unprepared to join the workforce because the only thing he knows how to do is chant "Free Palestine!"
‘You’re Going To Make It,’ Says TV ER Doctor To Patient Who’s Definitely Going To Die At The End Of The Episode
U.S. — A new episode of hit hospital drama Danger Hospital started with a bang an ER doctor told a patient who was definitely going to die by the end of the episode that they were going to make it.
Support Grows For Requiring Supreme Court Justices To Pass Cognitive Tests
U.S. — As audio clips of another round of oral arguments made their way across social media, results of a new poll revealed that support continued to grow for requiring Supreme Court justices to pass cognitive tests in order to serve.