U.S. — On the heels of news that HHS Secretary Robert F. Kennedy Jr. would be banning synthetic colors in the manufacturing of foods, Democrats across the country began chugging artificial food dyes as a bold act of protest.
Babylon Bee
For First Time In History, Supreme Court Has 5 Female Justices
WASHINGTON, D.C. — A special ceremony was scheduled to be held today to mark the historic occasion, as for the first time in history, the United States Supreme Court has five female justices.
Next Pope To Be Chosen Via Ninja Warrior Obstacle Course
ROME — Following the death of Pope Francis this week, official sources at the Vatican have confirmed that the next pope will be chosen by ninja warrior obstacle course.
10 Frontrunners To Be The Next Pope
Following the passing of Pope Francis, the Catholic Church is now deep into the process of electing a new leader. While various media outlets claim to have lists of potential candidates, only The Babylon Bee has obtained the short list of true frontrunners.
MS-13 Added To LGBTQ Acronym
U.S. — In yet another step toward the advancement of protections for all people groups, activists announced today that MS-13 had officially been added to the LGBTQ+ acronym to ensure that the rights of violent foreign gang members were recognized.
Woman Hears Trumpets Indicating Christ’s Return, Frantically Begins Cleaning House
FORREST CITY, AR — According to sources, the trumpet call announcing the glorious return of Christ has sounded throughout the earth, leading local woman Amber Clark to begin frantically cleaning her home.
Christianity Today: ‘Jesus May Not Have Existed And The Bible Is A Lie And God Is Dead’
CAROL STREAM, IL — An article published by Christianity Today calls into question the existence of Jesus, argues that the Bible is a lie, and says God is dead.
Catholic Church To Consider Electing Pope Who’s A Catholic This Time
VATICAN CITY — Following the death of Pope Francis, cardinals within the Roman Catholic Church have expressed interest in electing a pope who’s actually Catholic this time.
Dalai Lama Quietly Cancels Scheduled Meeting With JD Vance
DHARAMSHALA — After the sad news broke that Pope Francis had passed away just hours after meeting the U.S. Vice President, the Dalai Lama quietly canceled his scheduled meeting with JD Vance.
Life Hack: In Lieu Of Reading Book Of Revelation, Just Go Outside And Watch It Happen
Have you ever wished you could experience the Bible firsthand? Have you ever found the book of Revelation to be confusing and challenging to understand? A game-changing new life hack aims to solve both of these problems at the same time!