MERIDIAN, MI — A new streaming service designed for the more conservative and legalistic members of the Churches of Christ was announced Wednesday that would use artificial intelligence to digitally remove musical instruments from popular movies and TV shows.
Babylon Bee
Democrats Considering New Strategy Of Complaining Loudly Every Day About Trump
WASHINGTON, D.C. — Embattled after a difficult first several months of 2025, Democrats were reported to be considering a brilliant new strategy of complaining loudly every day about President Donald Trump.
11 Statements That Are Not Protected By The First Amendment
The First Amendment protects most forms of speech. But did you know that there are certain things even the Constitution does not allow? It’s true. Here are 11 statements that can get you in trouble with the law:
Trump Forces South African President To Watch Entirety Of ‘Home Alone 2’
WASHINGTON, D.C. — White House aides were reportedly caught off guard today as President Donald Trump abruptly dimmed the lights in the Oval Office and forced the visiting South African president to watch the entirety of Home Alone 2: Lost in New York.
Get A Load Of This FAILURE Of A Baseball Player Who Couldn’t Hit The Ball Almost 70% Of The Time
If you’re having trouble feeling confident about your abilities, do yourself a favor and check out this total loser who completely failed at his job 7 out of every 10 times he tried to do it. Talk about the perfect example of ineptitude and incompetence.
Congress Split Between Those Who Want To Spend A Ridiculous Amount And Those Who Want To Spend An Even More Ridiculous Amount
WASHINGTON, D.C. — As debate continued over President Donald Trump’s "big, beautiful bill," the United States Congress was said to be split between those who want to spend a ridiculous amount of money and those who want to spend an even more ridiculous amount of money.
Oops: Pastor Accidentally Includes ChatGPT Prompts From When He Asked It To Write His Sermon
IRVINE, CA — Local Associate Pastor Mark Sullivan took a leave of absence following a disastrous Sunday service in which he presented a message that mistakenly included his prompts to ChatGPT asking it to write his sermon for him.
FBI Determines Abraham Lincoln Killed Himself
WASHINGTON, D.C. — Despite 160 years of overwhelming evidence that pointed to foul play in the first assassination of an American president, the leaders of the Federal Bureau of Investigation revealed that they had now determined that Abraham Lincoln killed himself.
No Tax On Tips Passes Senate Unanimously After Clarification That Bribes Can Count As Tips
WASHINGTON, D.C. — IN a rare display of full bipartisan support, President Donald Trump’s "No Tax On Tips" bill passed through the Senate unanimously after legislators received clarification that bribes can count as tips.
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