DOVER, DE — In a horrifying display of what could be growing Christian Nationalism, a group of far-right Christian extremists gathered earlier today to pray for former President Joseph Biden.
Babylon Bee
Guy Who Invented Dip & Squeeze Ketchup Packaging Awarded Nobel Peace Prize
OSLO — The world-altering genius of one man was unanimously recognized on the global stage this week with the highest and most prestigious honor possible, as the guy who invented "Dip & Squeeze" ketchup packaging was awarded the Nobel Peace Prize.
Family Shopping For A New Church After Finding Out Their Current Church Has Sinners In It
SAN FERNANDO, CA — The Gomez family is back on the market for a new church after learning their home church was full of sinners.
New Evidence Suggests Noah’s Wife Was Steering The Ark When It Hit Mount Ararat
WORLD — Leading theologians have uncovered new evidence that when Noah’s ark hit Mount Ararat, his wife was likely steering.
9 Lesser-Known Healing Miracles In the Bible
The Bible is full of fantastic accounts of healing miracles where people were instantly cured of leprosy, blindness, and even being lame. But there are even more Biblical healings you may not have heard of.
New Subscription Service Sends Dads A New Pair Of Cargo Pants Every 9 Years
U.S. — A hot new clothing subscription service continued to build buzz, gaining popularity among men across the country, claiming to service all of men’s clothing needs by sending them a single pair of new cargo pants every 9 years.
Ghost Of Pete Rose Bets On Hall Of Fame Induction
COOPERSTOWN, NY — In a shocking new report, a team of amateur ghost hunters working near the National Baseball Hall of Fame and Museum caught the ghost of Pete Rose placing bets on his Hall of Fame induction.
Study: Nobody Thinks They’re Stupid, But Many Are
U.S. — A newly released Harvard study on human intelligence has provided conclusive evidence that while nobody thinks they’re stupid, many are.
Trump Asks When He’ll Get To See The Elves And Hobbits On His Middle East Tour
DUBAI — Nearing the end of his highly publicized Middle East tour, administration sources reported that President Donald Trump had asked dignitaries when he would get to see the elves and hobbits.
Worrying: America Is Just As Unprepared Now For A Giant Monkey Climbing Skyscrapers As We Were In 1933
NEW YORK, NY — In a concerning new report, experts said that America is still just as unprepared today for a giant monkey climbing skyscrapers as we were back in 1933.