LOS ANGELES, CA — In an unexpected twist for the Hollywood movie industry, director James Gunn proudly released a film about the importance of accepting morally upstanding white immigrants who speak perfect English.
Babylon Bee
Man Wants However Many Deportations Are Needed For Him To No Longer Have To Press 1 For English
MILWAUKEE, WI — Sources close to local man Jackson Trent say he just wants however many deportations are needed for him to no longer have to push 1 for English.
Serial Killer Out Of Job As Local Planned Parenthood Closes
MINNEAPOLIS, MN — The effects of the Trump administration’s sweeping reforms in government funding have trickled down to different industries, as a serial killer found himself out of a job after a local Planned Parenthood was forced to close its doors.
Furious Newsom Says He Won’t Stand Silently By While Trump Fixes California
SACRAMENTO, CA — As the federal government takes steps to attempt to solve a myriad of problems facing the Golden State, a furious Governor Gavin Newsom told reporters he won’t stand silently by while Trump fixes California.
11 Celebs Who Have Joined Elon’s America Party
A new chapter in history was written last week, as Elon Musk formed the America Party as a foil to the Republican-Democratic "uniparty" system. Some of the big names who have already jumped on board may surprise you.
Ads Briefly Interrupted By Mobile Game
RANCHO CUCAMONGA, CA — Local man Gary Nielson was having a great time on his phone, until the ads he was watching were briefly yet rudely interrupted by the mobile game "Tetris Blast."
Man’s Christian Love For Humanity Shattered By Trip To The Airport
CHICAGO, IL — The world around a local man seemed to grow even colder and dimmer as he expressed feeling that his Christian love for humanity had been shattered after he took a trip to the airport.
Biblical Prophecy Fulfilled? Chick-Fil-A Opens New Temple Mount Location
JERUSALEM — In a possible fulfillment of Biblical prophecy, Chick-fil-A has just opened a new location on the Temple Mount.
Pam Bondi Confirms Ark Of The Covenant Sitting On Her Desk Waiting To Be Reviewed
WASHINGTON, D.C. — As the world waited with bated breath to learn about the contents of the ancient biblical artifact, U.S. Attorney General Pam Pondi made an official statement confirming that the Ark of the Covenant was sitting on her desk waiting to be reviewed.
Disney World Installs Animatronic District Judge To Block Animatronic Trump
ORLANDO, FL — Disney World’s Hall of Presidents was updated over the weekend to include a new animatronic district judge to block all actions by its animatronic President Trump.