TEL AVIV — Disaster nearly struck FlyDubai Flight FZ1073 this morning after the pilot forgot to illuminate the "No Hijacking" sign.
Babylon Bee
Kristi Noem Files For Divorce, Expected To Get Half Of Husband’s Bras
CASTLEWOOD, SD — Former DHS Secretary Kristi Noem filed for divorce this week, with legal experts expecting her to receive half of her husband’s bras in the settlement.
8 Educational Kids Show Ideas
Children’s educational television is traditionally stale and only entertaining to kids who haven’t yet been introduced to Batman: The Animated Series. But all it takes to change that is a few good ideas.
Jesus Turns Wine Back to Water After Wedding Guests Start Doing The Electric Slide
CANA — New research has suggested that the famous miracle of the water turned into wine at the wedding at Cana may have been undone soon thereafter, as Jesus witnessed guests doing the Electric Slide.
Woman Prepares For Start Of ‘Taking Picture Of Bible Next To Cup Of Coffee’ Season
JONESBORO, AR — Local woman Geena Parks reportedly couldn’t contain her excitement for October to begin, which she said is the start of "taking pictures of your Bible next to a cup of coffee" season.
Mamdani Announces New Plan To Fight Antisemitism By Locking His Wife In A Closet
NEW YORK, NY — Mayor Zohran Mamdani announced a new plan to fight antisemitism by locking his own anti-semitic wife in their bedroom closet.
The Year Is 2064 And Dude Perfect Has Just Released ‘Nursing Home Wheelchair Trick Shots Volume 9’
THE FUTURE — The year is 2064, and the guys from Dude Perfect are still going strong, having just released their latest video featuring the most insane wheelchair trick shots this side of Shady Oaks Nursing Home.
Britain Apologizes For Disrupting Whatever It Was Nice Muslim Men Were Doing
LONDON — The British government issued an official public apology on Tuesday for interrupting whatever it was the nice Muslim men in unmarked vans were doing at 1:00 a.m. outside a military base used by U.S. forces.
9 Incredible Artifacts Unearthed At Noah’s Ark
An archaeological dig at the purported site of Noah’s Ark has gotten people really excited. And it appears that it might be legit, because the team behind Noah’s Ark Scans has already made some incredible finds.
Angels Change ‘Big A’ To ‘Big L’ To Celebrate 100-Loss Season
ANAHEIM, CA — To commemorate the team’s record-setting 100-loss season, the Los Angeles Angels changed the "Big A" outside their stadium to a "Big L."