OKLAHOMA CITY, OK — In an attempt to somehow garner even more foul calls, the Oklahoma City Thunder have replaced star player Shai Gilgeous-Alexander with a wacky flailing inflatable tube man.
Babylon Bee
Nancy Pelosi Says Stop Asking If Aliens Are Real Or She Will Order The Mothership To Fire Its Superlaser At Earth
WASHINGTON, D.C. — Representative Nancy Pelosi cautioned that if people persist in asking her whether aliens are real, she will order the mothership to blow up the earth with its superlaser.
Oil Tanker Slips Anonymously Through Strait Of Hormuz By Adding Fake Nose And Mustache
MIDDLE EAST — An oil tanker has managed to slip through the Strait of Hormuz completely undetected after donning a giant fake nose and mustache.
Taco Bell Releases Exciting New Way To Put Its Four Ingredients Together
U.S. — In what food scientists are calling "a breakthrough in modern cuisine," Taco Bell has unveiled an incredible new way to arrange of its four ingredients.
Trump Legalizes Shooting Hooligan Kids On Those Motorized Bicycles On Sight
WASHINGTON, D.C. — In what supporters are calling "the most popular executive action since bringing back the McRib," President Donald Trump signed an executive order Thursday formally authorizing citizens to shoot obnoxious hooligans on those motorized bikes.
Blasphemous Bible App Claims To Have Update For King James Version
U.S. — A Bible application for mobile devices was blacklisted by members of several evangelical denominations after its developer claimed to release a new "update" for the King James Version.
Republicans Smear Popular Progressive Candidate Just Because He’s A Clone Of Hitler
PORTLAND, ME — Popular progressive candidate Arnold Henry swept through the Democratic primary and excited left-leaning Democrats — with many even talking presidential prospects in 2028 — but Republicans have shifted into overdrive, smearing Henry because of his past, mainly focusing on the fact that Henry is a…
Man On Day Seven Of Doing 15-Minute Task
LOS ANGELES — Alan Maxwell recently entered day seven of a simple task that would take most normal adults no more than 15 minutes to complete.
Democrat Effort To Retake Congress Once Again Thwarted By Existence Of Laws
WASHINGTON, D.C. — Frustrated members of the Democratic Party expressed exasperation today, as their effort to retake control of the United States Congress was once again thwarted by the existence of laws.
10 Shocking Revelations From The Declassified UFO Files
In a long-anticipated move, the U.S. government finally released a trove of previously classified files about UFOs and the search for extraterrestrial life.