NEW YORK, NY — As world leaders from around the globe were in the U.S. this week to attend the United Nations General Assembly, the Iranian president was reportedly caught using a cardboard cutout of the Ayatollah to sneak into the HOV lane.
Babylon Bee
Dad (Man Cold) Listed As Questionable For Sunday
FRANKLIN, TN — Local husband and father Greg Hartley, who came down with a case of the sniffles earlier this week, was officially listed as "questionable" for church attendance (or anything) this coming Sunday.
Trump Says There May Still Be Time To Save Midterm For Republicans By Starting A New War
WASHINGTON, D.C. — In an address to GOP supporters on Friday, President Donald Trump outlined a bold strategy to rally conservative voters ahead of the upcoming midterm elections by launching a brand-new foreign war.
Man Once Again Loses Train Of Thought During Prayer And Starts Thinking About How He’d Defend The Church From Muslim Terrorists
AMARILLO, TX — During the opening prayer of a Wednesday evening church service, local man Adrien Herald once again lost his train of thought as he began daydreaming about defending his congregation from Muslim terrorists.
Judge Rules That Trump Must Allow White House Access To Assassins
WASHINGTON, D.C. — A federal judge has overturned President Donald Trump’s ban on assassins being allowed into the White House.
Loser Disciple Can’t Even Cast Demon Out Of A Kid
GALILEE — The disciples of Jesus of Nazareth got a big laugh after one of their own turned out to be a giant loser who couldn’t even cast one demon out of a kid.
Airline Carefully Selects Most Heavily Accented Employee To Make Gate Announcements
DENVER, CO — A major airline company announced that it had carefully considered all its employees and made sure that the most heavily accented person would make all gate announcements for passengers in the terminal.
‘The Babylon Bee’ Hires Stanford University To Take New Staff Photo
U.S. — The Babylon Bee is excited to publicly release our first official staff photo in five years, with a huge thanks to the expert visual media team from Stanford University who made it possible.
Top 10 Reasons To Move To Washington State
While the Evergreen State is most famous as the setting for the hit NBC sitcom Frasier, actual people live there, too. Could you be the next one to call it home?
Heaven Confirms People Who Line The Dashboards Of Their Jeeps With Little Duckies Will Not Inherit The Kingdom Of God
HEAVEN — A representative of Heaven confirmed on Thursday that people who line the dashboards of their Jeeps with little duckies will not inherit the kingdom of God.