WASHINGTON, D.C. — President Trump has successfully secured 18 months of free Geek Squad service as a condition of negotiating the end of hostilities between India and Pakistan.
Babylon Bee
Letitia James Hides From Trump DOJ By Painting Herself Bronze And Standing Very, Very Still In Times Square
NEW YORK, NY — In a desperate move to evade Trump’s Department of Justice, New York Attorney General Letitia James painted herself bronze and is standing very, very still in Times Square.
New Pope Now Second-Most Influential Christian Named ‘Bob’
WORLD — After ascending to the role of Pope this week, former Bishop Robert Prevost has now taken the title of the second most influential Christian in the world named "Bob", narrowly losing out to Bob the Tomato.
New Pope Spends First Day Undoing All Of Former Pope’s Executive Orders
VATICAN CITY — According to Vatican officials, newly elected Pope Leo XIV spent the majority of his first day on the job undoing all of the former pope’s executive orders.
Trump’s Popularity Skyrockets After He Deports All Cyclists
U.S. — Despite controversies surrounding tariffs and the defunding of dozens of large government departments, a new poll showed President Donald Trump’s popularity skyrocketed after he announced the deportation of all cyclists.
Miracle: Image Of Mary Appears In Chicago Bean
CHICAGO, IL — In an astonishing miracle that theologians said was a herald of God’s blessing upon Chicago’s own Pope Leo XIV, an image of the Virgin Mary appeared in the Chicago Bean.
10 Common Mistakes Preachers Make
Being a preacher is a thankless job. You do your best to "rightly divide the Word of Truth" each week, but no one pays attention. But it’s not their fault, it’s yours. In all likelihood, you’re making one of ten common, and sometimes deadly, mistakes.
Hero: Bernie Sanders Buys Another House To Make Sure The Rich People Don’t Get All Of Them
BURLINGTON, VT — In a heroic move that sacrificed his own resources, Senator Bernie Sanders announced that he had bought yet another house to make sure the rich people don’t get all of them.
What You Should Know About The New Pope
With the election of Pope Leo XIV, millions of people — including some Catholics — were left looking for information about him to provide insight into how he might lead the Church.
Bernie Sanders Unveils His New Gold-Encrusted ‘Beat The Oligarchy’ Dirigible
U.S. — In the latest step in his quest to lead working-class Americans to overthrow the elite billionaire ruling class, Senator Bernie Sanders unveiled a gold-encrusted "Beat the Oligarchy" dirigible he would use to tour the country.