WASHINGTON, D.C. — The Trump administration announced plans this week for the president to host a thrilling game show for members of Congress in which the audience must help determine who he executes next.
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Starbucks Appeals To Men With New Zyn Spice Frappucino
SEATTLE, WA — In an effort to attract more male customers, Starbucks announced the release of its new Zyn Spice Frappuccino.
Trump Has Spoken: These 12 Crimes Of Sedition Are Now Punishable By Death
Provoked by Democratic lawmakers calling on the military to refuse orders from their commander-in-chief, President Donald Trump made several posts on Truth Social declaring a long list of crimes as sedition and punishable by death.
Breaking: Hamas Breaches White House Perimeter
WASHINGTON, D.C. — President Donald Trump was rushed to an emergency bunker below the East Wing following reports that a member of Hamas breached the White House perimeter.
17 Illegal Immigrants Found Hiding Under Pope’s Hat
VATICAN CITY — Following his public statement condemning the Trump administration’s hardline immigration policies, a shocking new report indicated that 17 illegal immigrants had been found hiding under Pope Leo XIV’s hat.
Microsoft Introduces Convenient New 47-Factor Authentication
SEATTLE, WA — The Microsoft Corporation announced today that they’ve developed a convenient new 47-factor authentication protocol for all Windows-enabled computers.
Congress Passes Resolution To Release Santa’s Naughty/Nice List
WASHINGTON, D.C. — Lawmakers sent shockwaves around the globe with the Christmas season right around the corner, as Congress passed a resolution to release Santa Claus’ "Naughty or Nice" list.
Nation Wonders Whatever Happened To The Guy Who Made ‘Aliens’ And ‘Terminator 2’ And Then Just Completely Stopped Making Movies
U.S. — The results of a national survey revealed that nearly 90% of moviegoers were curious about what happened to the guy who made Aliens and Terminator 2, and then apparently just completely stopped making movies for some reason.
Do You Have What It Takes To Be A Professional Journalist? Here Are 9 Qualifications
There’s no more noble aspiration than that of one day becoming a professional journalist, but many may feel intimidated or unequipped to pursue such an impressive career.
Live-Action Remake Of Animated Film 98% Animated
Los Angeles, CA — Walt Disney Studios unveiled the teaser trailer this week for a much-anticipated live-action remake of a beloved animated movie that is only 98% animated.