AUSTIN, TX — Tension between President Donald Trump his wealthiest and most well-known supporter reached a new level today, as Elon Musk sent a Tesla Optimus robot back in time to terminate Trump’s "Big Beautiful Bill."
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Ford Debuts World’s First Autonomous Car To Leave Factory And Drive Straight To Shop For Repairs
DEARBORN, MI — The Ford Motor Company made history once again with its recent debut of the world’s first autonomous car to leave the factory and drive straight to the shop for repairs.
CNN Reports Viewership ‘Largely Intact’
ATLANTA, GA — CNN is reporting that in spite of several ruthless attacks by the Trump administration, its audience is still largely intact.
Man In Search Of New Church After Finding Out His Pastor Likes The Disney Star Wars Movies
BATON ROUGE, LA — Sources close to Gene Vickers say that the 34-year-old is now searching for a new church after finding out that his pastor likes the Disney Star Wars movies last Sunday.
Mamdani Clarifies He Is Not A Communist, He Merely Wants To Seize The Means Of Production And Put All The Capitalists In Gulags
NEW YORK, NY — In response to growing questions about his political leanings, New York City mayoral candidate Zohran Mamdani issued a statement to clarify that he is not a communist, but only wants the government ot seize the means of production, abolish private property ownership, and put…
KBJ Issues Savage Dissent In Form Of TikTok Dance
WASHINGTON, D.C. — In an unprecedented move sure to take the legal world by storm, Justice Ketanji Brown Jackson issued a savage dissent in the form of a TikTok dance.
District Court Issues Nationwide Injunction Against Supreme Court Ruling
U.S. — In the wake of the United States Supreme Court ruling that will effectively prevent district courts from issuing nationwide injunctions, a district court issued a nationwide injunction against the Supreme Court ruling.
Pride Parade Followed Closely By Disinfectant Parade
SAN FRANCISCO — Pride Month festivities drew to a close Monday with one final Pride Parade that was closely followed by a Disinfectant Parade.
Gavin Newsom Sues Gavin Newsom For Ruining His Political Career
SACRAMENTO, CA — Sources close to Gavin Newsom say that the California governor is launching a lawsuit against Governor Gavin Newsom for ruining his political career.
Pastor Resigns In Disgrace After Failing To Use Greek Word In Sermon
MADISON, WI — Local pastor Nathan Enfield resigned in disgrace after he failed to use a single Greek word in his sermon this morning.