NEW YORK CITY — After suffering a shocking defeat to a previously little-known socialist, former governor Andrew Cuomo was left groping for answers as to where it all went wrong.
Babylon Bee
Church Warns Of Impending Shortage Of Sweet White-Haired Ladies That Give You Peppermints
FORT WAYNE, IN — An ecumenical gathering of pastors and laity recently warned that the church in America now faces an impending shortage of sweet, elderly white-haired ladies that give you peppermints.
CNN: Hiroshima ‘Barely Set Back’ By Atomic Bomb
U.S. — CNN has obtained a classified briefing revealing that the city of Hiroshima was "barely affected" after being hit by an atomic bomb.
9 Hardest Parts Of Pregnancy For Husbands
Trump’s Christian Faith Questioned As He Didn’t Say ‘Fudge’
WASHINGTON, D.C. — Donald Trump’s devout Christian faith is being called into question following an interaction with the press where he used a curse word instead of saying "fudge."
Mamdani Vows To Knock Down World Trade Center To Build More Affordable Housing
NEW YORK CITY — Zohran Mamdani, winner of New York City’s mayoral Democratic primary, has vowed to knock down the One World Trade Center in order to build more affordable housing.
Hamas Claims Responsibility For NYC Mayoral Primary
NEW YORK — The Hamas terrorist organization has claimed responsibility for the results of last night’s mayoral primary in New York City.
Get A Load Of This Dweeb Who Still Thinks We Care About What The Constitution Says
WASHINGTON, D.C. — Get a load of this total dweeb of a congressman who still thinks we care about what the Constitution says.
Trump Bombed Iran. Here’s How 12 Media Outlets Covered The Story
Welp, it looks like Trump bombed Iran. The Babylon Bee has assembled headlines from various media outlets here in one place so you can pick a little bit of the truth out of each to learn the whole story.
7 Clear Signs The Great Tribulation Is Near
Each passing moment brings us one step closer to the end times. Concerned? Keep an eye out for these signs that the tribulation is at hand.