MINNEAPOLIS, MN — Another long day of work was on the docket, as white liberal women clocked in for another long day of protesting the arrest of migrant sex offenders.
Babylon Bee
Pam Bondi Says She Has Finally Figured Out What DOJ Stands For
U.S. — Attorney General Pam Bondi has announced that after almost a year on the job, she has finally figured out what the acronym "DOJ" stands for.
Pro Athlete Struck By Lightning After Failing To Thank Jesus Christ For Victory
U.S. — Tragedy unfolded at a sporting event over the weekend, as a professional athlete was struck by lightning after unexcusably failing to thank Jesus Christ for giving his team the victory in the game.
Trump Announces New Round Of Tariffs On Everyone Who Didn’t Laugh At His Jokes In Davos
DAVOS — One day after his speech that made headlines at a gathering of world leaders at the World Economic Forum, U.S. President Donald Trump announced a new round of tariffs on everyone who didn’t laugh at his jokes.
10 Dumbest Things Guardian Angels Have Saved People From
Humans get into a lot of trouble, which all too often is simply a product of our own stupidity. Here are the top ten dumbest things guardian angels have saved people from in all of history:
Blind Taste Test Finds 9 Out Of 10 Men Prefer Taste Of Water From Garden Hose
CAMBRIDGE, MA — A peer-reviewed paper published by Harvard scientists revealed that, in a blind taste test, 9 out of 10 men prefer the taste of water from a garden hose.
Minnesota Arrests Churchgoers For Interrupting Protest
SAINT PAUL, MN — The controversy that erupted over last Sunday morning was finally addressed by authorities, as Minnesota leaders ordered the arrest of churchgoers for interrupting a leftist protest.
Trump Tells E.U. It’s Time We Start Seeing Other Continents
DAVOS — Speaking in Davos at the World Economic Forum, President Donald Trump broke it to European Union leaders that it was probably time the U.S. starts seeing other continents.
College Team Credits Football Championship To Discipline, Teamwork, $370 Million
MIAMI, FL — The Indiana Hoosiers credited their shocking college football championship victory to discipline, teamwork, and the $370 million spent buying their roster.
Trump To Convert Entire City Of Minneapolis Into Insane Asylum
WASHINGTON, D.C. — As part of the executive order to bring back mental institutions, President Trump announced this morning that he would begin by converting the entire city of Minneapolis into an insane asylum.