WASHINGTON, D.C. — HHS Secretary Robert F. Kennedy Jr. announced on Monday that he was teaming up with Starbucks to create a bold new Beef Tallow Spice Frappuccino as a healthier fall option for consumers.
Babylon Bee
Trump Revokes Grima Wormtongue’s Press Credentials
WASHINGTON, D.C. — In the latest escalation of his administration’s ongoing feud with the mainstream media, President Donald Trump announced on Monday that the White House had revoked the press credentials of longtime CNN correspondent Gríma Wormtongue.
Noah’s Wife Again Catches Him Trying To Huck The Cats Overboard
EARTH — Noah’s wife came up topside on the ark this morning to dry out laundry, only to catch Noah once again trying to huck the cats overboard.
Data Center Disguises Itself As Abortion Clinic To Win Support From Liberals
ASHBURN, VA — A local data center situated just outside of town, in what is commonly called "Data Center Alley," reportedly disguised itself as an abortion clinic as part of a shrewd plan to win support from liberals.
Tragedy As Ed Sheeran Controversy Forces Millions To Listen To Ed Sheeran
WORLD — In the wake of the controversy swirling around musician Ed Sheeran, millions of people across the globe were tragically reported to have been forced to listen to Ed Sheeran.
Man’s Prayer Life Revitalized As His Teenage Kids Start Driving
PEORIA, IL — Local man Chandler Cooke reportedly saw his prayer life totally reinvigorated as his teenage kids started driving.
CNN Sues Trump For Violating Its First Amendment Right To Fabricate News
WASHINGTON, D.C. — In the latest wave of legal turmoil enveloping the nation’s capital, cable network CNN sued the Trump administration for allegedly violating its First Amendment rights to fabricate the news.
Concerned Citizens Launch GoFundMe Launched To Help Sydney Sweeney Buy Some Clothes
U.S. — Concerned Americans have started a GoFundMe to purchase some clothing for the obviously destitute Sydney Sweeney.
Report: Chili’s Only Gets Bad Rap Because It Is Awful
DALLAS, TX — A new industry report released Thursday concluded that Chili’s persistent reputation problem is due to it being truly awful.
Uber Driver Carefully Selects Worst Possible Photo For Profile
SAN ANTONIO, TX — Local Uber driver Vish Patel spent hours today searching his phone for the worst possible photo to use in his Uber profile.