KANSAS CITY, MO — One of football’s biggest stars was revealed to have fallen prey to scammers, as Chiefs tight end Travis Kelce was victimized by a criminal ring that forces people to dress like idiots.
Babylon Bee
Hosea Regretting His Decision To Forgo Premarital Counseling
EPHRAIM — With his marriage to former prostitute Gomer off to a rocky start, the prophet Hosea began to seriously regret his decision to forego premarital counseling.
House Of Representatives Goes On Break After Long, Hard Stretch Of Not Working
WASHINGTON, D.C. — The United States House of Representatives canceled all scheduled votes and went on break to recuperate from a long, tough stretch of not doing anything.
EU Declares Canada Weak Enough to Join Them
BRUSSELS — Speaking in Strasbourg, France, on Wednesday, European Commission President Ursula von der Leyen announced that she had deemed Canada weak enough to join the European Union.
Caveman Issues Dire Warning That The Wheel Is Going To Eliminate Countless Jobs
GÖBEKLITEPE — The invention of the wheel may lead to massive job loss, according to a caveman who sounded the alarm to warn the rest of caveman society.
Game Of Risk Enters Fourth Week
NAPERVILLE, IL — Sources confirmed on Wednesday that a local game group’s night of playing classic RISK had now entered its fourth week.
9 Great Ways To Teach Kids About The Gospel
Everyone needs to hear the Gospel, even kids. But it’s sometimes hard to get them to pay attention when you’re trying to talk Bible.
BUZZER BEATER! Angels Erupt In Cheers As Man Accepts Christ With Just 0.4 Seconds Left On Clock
HEAVEN — In an unbelievable turn of events, a man on his deathbed professed belief in Jesus Christ and secured his Heavenly reward with just 0.4 seconds left on his life clock.
U.S. Space Weapon Revealed To Be Little Triangle That Shoots Bullets Out The Front
WASHINGTON, D.C. — According to sources, the on-orbit space control weapon revealed on Monday by U.S. military officials was apparently a little triangle that shoots bullets out the front.
Hawaiian Newlyweds Head Off To Luxurious Honeymoon In Iowa
DES MOINES, IA — Expressing a desire to escape the monotonous, hum-drum tropical paradise of Oahu, local newlyweds Kai and Leilani Kalani landed at Des Moines International Airport on Monday to begin their seven-day luxury dream honeymoon in exotic Polk County, Iowa.