NEW YORK, NY — Mayor Zohram Mandani called a press conference on Monday to clarify that his wife only celebrates the actions and mission of terrorists in her capacity as a private citizen.
Babylon Bee
David French Praises Satan As ‘Most Christian Person In History’
CHICAGO, IL — Political commentator and columnist for The New York Times David French praised Satan on Monday, calling the great red dragon the most Christian person in history.
Iran Boasts It Has Destroyed Hundreds Of US Missiles With Its Buildings
TEHRAN — As the conflict in the Middle East stretched into a second week, the Iranian government issued a public statement boasting that it had destroyed hundreds of U.S. missiles with its buildings.
Obama Library To Feature Interactive Exhibit Where Visitors Can Print Their Own Birth Certificates
CHICAGO, IL — According to early reviews, the new Obama Presidential Center boasts an exciting interactive exhibit for all ages where guests can make their own birth certificate.
Mamdani Condemns New Yorkers For Making Muslims Throw Bombs At Them
NEW YORK CITY — Mayor Zohran Mamdani has strongly condemned New Yorkers for making Muslims throw improvised explosive devices at them.
Newly-Unemployed Dan Crenshaw Joins Crew Of ‘Pirates Who Don’t Do Anything’
HOUSTON, TX — Out of a job after his primary defeat, Dan Crenshaw has officially joined up with the crew of the infamous "Pirates Who Don’t Do Anything."
Pope Condemns Allied Forces For Not Just Talking It Out With Nazis
VATICAN CITY — Pope Leo issued a forceful condemnation of the Allied Forces resorting to violence instead of simply talking things out with the Nazis.
Megyn Kelly Goes Back To Normal After Eating A Snickers
NEW YORK, NY — After months of mounting concern over her apparent change in viewpoints on geopolitical matters, popular commentator and podcaster Megyn Kelly reportedly went back to normal after eating a Snickers.
U.S. Embassy In Minneapolis Evacuated Over Safety Concerns For American Citizens
MINNEAPOLIS, MN — The United States State Department issued an evacuation order for the U.S. embassy located in downtown Minneapolis on Friday, citing concerns over the safety of American citizens in the area.
DHS Nominee Markwayne Mullin Surges In Popularity After Vowing To Deport Liberal White Ladies
U.S. — As the Trump cabinet experienced a significant changing of the guard, new Department of Homeland Security nominee Markwayne Mullin surged in popularity among the American people after vowing to deport liberal white ladies.