WASHINGTON, D.C. — Democratic lawmakers once again called on the Department of Justice to reign in ICE officers, fearful that mass deportations will make illegals afraid to vote.
Babylon Bee
Whoops: Trump Reveals He’s Actually Been Thinking Of Iceland This Whole Time
WASHINGTON, D.C. — While appearing at a White House press briefing on Tuesday, President Donald Trump revealed that he had been mistaken and was actually thinking of Iceland this whole time.
JD Vance Shares Ultrasound Of 4th Child
‘Daddy, Can I Get A Bird?’ Says Daughter To Dad Who’s About To Make A Very Big Mistake
WINNEMUCCA, NV — According to witnesses at a local pet store, a father was about to make a fatal mistake after his daughter asked him if she could have a bird.
11 Ways To Ward Off Rioters From Your Church
Following the incident over the weekend when Don Lemon joined leftist protesters to invade a Minnesota church service, churches around the country are looking for ways to avoid suffering the same fate.
After Learning Of Anti-ICE Target Protest, Wife Announces She Too Will Stand Up For Immigrants By Spending All Day In Target
GRAND RAPIDS, MI — After seeing reports of an anti-ICE protest at a Minnesota Target, local wife Beth Harris announced she would also stand up for the plights of immigrants by spending a day in Target.
Subarus Now Come With Built-In ICE Tracker
U.S. — To keep up with popular consumer trends and make products more appealing to the company’s customer base, Subaru announced that all models will now come standard with a built-in ICE tracker.
Trump Disguises Himself As Muslim Migrant So Europe Will Let Him Invade Greenland
WASHINGTON, D.C. — In a brilliant stroke of genius, President Donald Trump has just disguised himself as a Muslim migrant so that Europe now has to let him invade Greenland.
Denmark Protects Greenland By Securing It In Giant Cookie Tin
NUUK — With rhetoric from both European countries and the United States over control of the island escalating, Denmark commenced a plan to protect Greenland by securing it in a giant cookie tin.
Apple Introduces New IPhone For Your Other Hand
CUPERTINO, CA — The world’s most popular and trendsetting tech manufacturer set the consumer world on fire once again this week, as Apple introduced a new iPhone for your other hand.