LOS ANGELES, CA — In a historic decision, the National Basketball Referees Association announced its intention of giving LeBron James his very own whistle to call his own fouls.
Babylon Bee
Democrats Call For An Individual Court Hearing For Everyone On Earth To Prove They Aren’t American Citizens
WASHINGTON, D.C. — As controversy swirls over the deportation of Kilmar Abrego Garcia, Democrat politicians have joined together to call for an individual court hearing for everyone on earth to prove that they aren’t American citizens.
‘Weeeeee I’m An Astronaut!’ Exclaims Katy Perry During Ride On Disneyland Astro Orbiter
ANAHEIM, CA — Singer and TV personality Katy Perry inspired dozens Thursday after declaring she was an astronaut following a brief ride on Disneyland’s Astro Orbiter.
American Hostages In Gaza Disguise Themselves As MS-13 Gang Members So Democrats Will Fight To Bring Them Home
GAZA — In a desperate attempt to return to family and friends they haven’t seen in over a year and a half, American hostages being held by Hamas reportedly disguised themselves as MS-13 gang members so Democrats would fight to bring them home to the U.S.
Trump Agrees To Bring Garcia Home If El Salvador Will Keep Cory Booker
WASHINGTON, D.C. — With controversy ongoing over a judge ordering a deported MS-13 gang member to be returned to the U.S., news broke that President Donald Trump had agreed to bring Kilmar Abrego Garcia home if El Salvador would keep Senator Cory Booker.
Maine Sues To Allow Sasquatch To Continue Competing In Women’s Sports
AUGUSTA, ME — The state of Maine has recently continued its struggle for equity by suing the federal government to allow Sasquatch to continue competing in women’s sports.
10 People We’d Like To Launch Into Space
Sorry Excuse For A Church Only Has One Service LOOOOOOOOL
RALEIGH, NC — Evangelical churchgoers in the Raleigh area have begun to notice that there is a sorry excuse for a church in town that only has one service. This has led to many people in the area pointing and laughing at Living Word Baptist Church as they…
Biden Gives Powerful Speech Reminding Nation Why He’s No Longer President
CHICAGO, IL — Former President Joe Biden delivered a heartfelt address reminding the nation precisely why he is no longer President.
Harvard Awards Honorary Degree To Man Who Firebombed Governor Shapiro’s House
CAMBRIDGE, MA — In a beautiful ceremony today, Harvard University bestowed an honorary degree to the pro-Hamas activist Cody Balmer, who firebombed Governor Josh Shapiro’s home.