BRUSSELS — Amid the looming threat of a U.S. military takeover of Greenland, NATO requested emergency aid from the U.S. to help it defend Greenland from the U.S.
Babylon Bee
Progressive Researchers Claim They Are 15-20 Years From Finding Out What A Woman Is
U.S. — Progressive researchers working with the American Civil Liberties Union (ACLU ) said they were only a mere 15-20 years away from finding out what a woman is.
Ominous Sign? New Army Recruitment Ads Say ‘Visit Lovely Greenland’
U.S. — In yet another potentially ominous sign that President Donald Trump was dead-set on the United States acquiring the territory for strategic and national security purposes, new U.S. Army recruitment ads offered prospective enlistees the opportunity to "Visit Lovelty Greenland."
Tucker Carlson Amazed At How Clean And Well-Run The Murdering Of Iranian Protestors Is
U.S. — After watching the news of the Iranian government executing tens of thousands of protestors, political commentator Tucker Carlson expressed amazement at how clean and well-run the murders were.
Democrats Respond To RFK With New Food Pentagram
WASHINGTON, D.C. — In response to the new food pyramid released Robert F. Kennedy Jr., Democrats have released an alternative food pentagram.
Trump Airdrops ‘Make Iran Great Again’ Hats To Help Iranian Protesters
TEHRAN — As Iranian protestors were shot dead in the streets, President Trump made good on his promise to come to their aid by having thousands of "Make Iran Great Again" hats airdropped all over the country.
Bill Clinton Says He’ll Gladly Testify On Epstein Case Just As Soon He Gets Back From This Cool Island
NEW YORK, NY — According to filings to the Federal Court of the southern district of New York, former President Bill Clinton says he will gladly testify on the Epstein case just as soon as he gets back from this really cool island.
Five-Year-Old Brought In To Explain Difference Between Boys And Girls To Supreme Court
WASHINGTON, D.C. — The Supreme Court took a break from deliberations regarding individuals competing in sports designated for the opposite sex to bring in an expert five-year-old boy to explain the difference between boys and girls.
Ketanji Brown Jackson Arrives At Work In Official SCOTUS Short Bus
WASHINGTON, D.C. — Justice Ketanji Brown Jackson arrived for work at the Supreme Court building this morning in the official, yellow SCOTUS short bus.
Trump Announces Plan To Take Australia And Cash In Its 2 Troop Bonus Every Round, Wait Till All The Other Armies Are Depleted, Then Launch His Assault On Asia
WASHINGTON, D.C. — President Trump has revealed his plan to seize Australia, cash in its two-troop continent bonus each turn, wait for the other armies to deplete each other, and then launch an invasion of Asia.