Fox News: Trump Strikes Iran In ‘Perfectly Executed’ Military Operation
Babylon Bee
Man Goes Back In Time To Mesmerize Ancients With Futuristic Technology Of Gushers
EGYPT — Newly unearthed records appear to indicate a man claiming to be from the future traveled to ancient Memphis to wow the early Egyptians with the futuristic technology of Gushers.
Obama Confused To See Bombs Falling On Iran Instead Of Pallets Of Cash
WASHINGTON, D.C. — With military operations ongoing against the Ayatollah’s Islamic regime, former President Barack Obama expressed confusion at seeing bombs falling on Iran instead of pallets stacked with U.S. cash.
Mamandi Getting Nervous As Trump Keeps Assassinating Muslim Dictators
NEW YORK, NY — After U.S. military action against the Ayatollah, New York City Mayor Zohran Mamdani was reportedly getting nervous that President Donald Trump keeps assassinating Muslim dictators.
Mamdani Vows Retaliatory Strikes Against Bernie’s Kosher Delicatessen
NEW YORK CITY — In the wake of U.S. attacks on Iran, Mayor Zohran Mamdani has vowed to launch retaliatory strikes on Bernie’s Kosher Delicatessen.
Iran Introduces New Ayatollah
TEHRAN — The Iranian government has officially announced a successor to Ayatollah Khamenei, introducing today the new Supreme Ayatollah, Tucker Carlson.
British Citizens Politely Ask If They Can Be Liberated From Radical Islam Next
LONDON — British citizens have politely asked if perhaps they could be next on the list for liberation from radical Islam.
The U.S. Just Attacked Iran: Here’s What Happens Next
The United States launched a major military attack on Iran overnight, striking dozens of high-level targets across the nation. As the dust settles, everyone is asking the question: what happens next? Here is what’s about to happen:
Mamdani Orders Flags At One World Trade Center Flown Half-Staff To Mourn Ayatollah
NEW YORK CITY — Mayor Zohran Mamdani has ordered all flags at One World Trade Center to be flown at half-staff to mourn the death of Ayatollah Khamenei.
Ayatollah To Give Speech As Soon As Officials Find The Rest Of His Body
TEHRAN — Iranian officials have promised that Ayatollah Khamenei will give a speech just as soon as they have located the rest of his body.