Catholics (and, to a lesser extent, Orthodox) like to sneer at Protestants, but being a Protestant comes with some amazing perks. For example, did you know you’re basically your own pope? You can issue papal bulls about what to watch on TV or where to order food. It’s…
Babylon Bee
Politician On Epstein List Grilled By Other Politicians On Epstein List
CHAPPAQUA, NY — A lifelong politician whose name appeared on the Epstein list was questioned today by other politicians whose names were on the Epstein list, sources confirmed.
8 Most Horribly Divisive Statements From Trump’s State Of The Union
With last night’s polarizing State of the Union, President Trump continued fracturing the country with pointed rhetoric designed only to widen the chasm between the country’s left and right. From the many awful things Trump said, here are the eight most divisive statement’s from last night’s speech:
Trump Forced To Deploy ICE During State Of The Union To Pepper Spray Unruly Democrats
WASHINGTON, D.C. — In a historic first, a sitting U.S. president was forced to subdue members of Congress with a squad of ICE agents, who pepper sprayed unruly Democrats as President Trump delivered his State of the Union address.
Toddler Review: The Full Genius of Despicable Me 3 Really Reveals Itself on the 27th Viewing
Critics rightfully question the depth of modern cinema, yet among the shallows we find a full-throated answer to their query in the towering form of Despicable Me 3. On my 27th viewing, I am only just beginning to peel back the sophisticated layers of this cinematic masterpiece.
Devastating: Black New Yorkers Unable To Shovel Driveways As None Of Them Have ID
NEW YORK CITY — With winter storms pounding the Northeast, black New Yorkers were sadly left unable to shovel their driveways as none of them have government ID.
Democrats Refuse To Stand As Trump Introduces Jesus
WASHINGTON, D.C. — In a night where lawmakers raised eyebrows by remaining glued to their seats throughout the president’s State of the Union address, analysts later said the most shocking incident of the night was when Democrats refused to stand as Trump introduced Jesus.
Trump Reveals Plan To Secure Third Term By Speaking For 7 Straight Years
WASHINGTON, D.C. — President Trump has unveiled his clever plan to secure a third term by simply continuing his State of the Union speech for the next seven years.
Congress Wondering Who That Stunning Man Is Behind Trump
Congress Confused By State Of Union From President Who Can Talk
WASHINGTON, D.C. — Congress stared in confusion this evening, puzzled by hearing a speech from a President that can say words and sentences.