WASHINGTON, D.C. — Washington Democrats defended their unquenchable thirst for unlimited power on Thursday, confirming that saving democracy requires one party to seize total power and rule forever.
Babylon Bee
Trump Admin Moves To Legalize Marijuana For Those With A Medical Need Or Anyone Having To Fly On Spirit Airlines
WASHINGTON, D.C. — The Trump administration announced on Thursday that it would be proposing the legalization of marijuana for anyone with medical needs or anyone who has to fly on a Spirit Airlines flight.
Nation Excitedly Gathers For Annual Tradition Of Seeing Whose Career Will Be Killed By Cleveland Browns
U.S. — In what has become one of America’s most cherished annual traditions, a giddy nation will gather around its televisions this evening to see which young man will have his career killed by the Cleveland Browns.
NFL To Utilize Hogwarts’ Sorting Hat For This Year’s Draft
PITTSBURGH, PA — In a stark change from decades of tradition, the National Football League announced that, rather than the standard method of having each team select its preferred prospects, it would now utilize Hogwarts’ Sorting Hat for this year’s draft.
10 Powerful Stories From People Who Converted To Atheism
We all love a good conversion story. Those beautiful accounts of people who thought life had meaning and then realized that none of this matters and we’re all going to die and there’s nothing else after that except the long darkness. It brings a tear to the eye…
Nation Kicks Off Fundraiser To Get Mamdani To Hug The Dodgers’ Mascot
LOS ANGELES, CA — A grassroots movement among baseball fans appears to have gained significant traction in recent weeks as fans beg New York City Mayor Zohran Mamdani to "please" hug the Dodgers mascot.
Man Packs Book For Vacation So He Can Carry Around Book On Vacation
SAN DIEGO, CA — In accordance with his normal travel routine, a local man made sure that he packed a book for his vacation so that he can carry around a book on his vacation.
Too Far? Gerrymandered Virginia Congressional Map Includes California
RICHMOND, VA — The political landscape in the Commonwealth was set to change drastically moving forward, as the new gerrymandered congressional map of Virginia was revealed to include the entire state of California.
Should You Donate To The KKK? A Helpful Flowchart
After Losing SPLC Funding, KKK Forced To Buy Robes Off Temu
MONTGOMERY, AL — Following their sudden loss of funding from the Southern Poverty Law Center, members of Ku Klux Klan were reportedly forced purchase their iconic pointy white robes on the discount website Temu.