WASHINGTON, D.C. — Following a ruling stripping him of his ability to impose emergency tariffs, a visibly furious President Donald Trump imposed a 1,000% tariff on the United States Supreme Court.
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Joker Vows To Take Revenge On Gotham City After 13th-Place Finish At Winter Olympics
MILANO — One of the world’s most infamous supervillains announced plans to unleash years of pent-up frustration on the innocent residents of an unsuspecting American city, as the Joke vowed to take revenge on Gotham City after finishing in 13th place in figure skating at the 2026 Milano…
Man Traces Lifelong Cocaine Addiction To Childhood Love Of Fun Dip
TORRANCE, CA — Jeremy Fales, a local marketer for a Fortune 500 company, reportedly had an epiphany on Thursday when he traced his lifelong cocaine addiction back to his childhood love of Fun Dip.
Canadian Government Praised For Euthanizing Nickelback
OTTAWA — The international community had reportedly changed its tune on assisted suicide, even going so far as to openly praise Canada following an announcement by Prime Minister Mark Carney that they had successfully euthanized Nickelback.
In Historic First, Socialist Runs Out Of Money
NEW YORK, NY — Mayor Zohran Mamdani reported a projected $5.4 billion budget gap, marking the first time in recorded history that a socialist has ever run out of money.
Desperate John Bolton Throws Stink Bomb Into Trump’s Board Of Peace Meeting
WASHINGTON, D.C. — With the fate of the Middle East hanging in the balance and concerns rising that war with Iran could be imminent, a desperate John Bolton was seen throwing a stink bomb into President Donald Trump’s inaugural "Board of Peace" meeting.
Prince Andrew Joins UK Muslim Rape Gang So He Can Keep Abusing Young Girls
LONDON — In a stunning twist that experts said could prevent him from facing prosecution for ties to deceased billionaire Jeffrey Epstein, the former Prince Andrew Mountbatten-Windsor joined a UK Muslim rape gang so he could keep abusing young girls.
8 Brilliant Things To Suggest That Your Wife Give Up For Lent
Catholic or not, there’s nothing wrong with encouraging your wife to participate in Lent. While there may be a wide variety of things she could give up, there are a few things that could really work out well for you.
‘You Know, The Bible Says You Shouldn’t Judge People,’ Woman Tells Jesus At Great Throne Of Judgment
HEAVENLY THRONE ROOM — As she stood before the great white throne of judgment upon whom sat One with the appearance of jasper and carnelian, recently deceased Tiffany Smith told Jesus that He really shouldn’t be so judgy.
Wife Explains Her Love Language Is For Husband To Go Out And Earn All The Money And Then Come Home And Do All The Chores
ONTARIO, CA — In a revelation intended to lay a foundation for a better marital relationship, a local wife explained to her husband that her love language is for him to go out and earn all the money and then come home and do all the chores.