TULSA, OK — The security line ground to a halt this morning at the Tulsa International Airport as it took 42 minutes for a local dad to empty his cargo pants.
Babylon Bee
The Bee Explains: The Chimp Civil War
As you’ve probably heard, there is a chimpanzee civil war in Uganda.
Grandma Announces She Has Finally Joined MyFace
NAVASOTA, TX — Local grandma Susan Fields announced to her family that she had finally gotten with the times and made a profile on "that MyFace thing."
BLASPHEMY: Pope Leo Shares AI Picture Of Him Dressed As Trump
VATICAN CITY — In an escalation of the public feud between the U.S. president and the supreme pontiff of the Catholic Church, Pope Leo XIV shared an AI-generated photo of himself dressed as Donald Trump.
BLASPHEMY: Pope Leo Shares AI Picture Depicting Himself As Donald Trump
VATICAN CITY — In an escalation of the public feud between the U.S. president and the supreme pontiff of the Catholic Church, Pope Leo XIV shared an AI-generated photo of himself dressed as Donald Trump.
Trump Predicts His Approval Ratings Will Be Resurrected In Three Days
WASHINGTON, D.C. — President Trump told reporters on Monday that he wasn’t concerned about his recent dip in popularity or the controversy that resulted from his posting of a social media image depicting himself as Christ, boldly predicting that his approval ratings would be resurrected in three days.
Swalwell Insists He Didn’t Assault Any Of Those Chinese Spies He Slept With
SACRAMENTO, CA — After being accused of multiple counts of sexual assault, Representative Eric Swalwell issued a fierce denial today, insisting that he never assaulted any of the Chinese spies he slept with.
Baseball Manager Pins Loss On Fan Who Failed To Put His Lucky Socks On Today
KANSAS CITY, MO — Kansas City Royals manager Matt Quatraro pinned the team’s loss on local fan Jim Greller, who failed to put on his lucky socks today.
Experts Rule Game Not A Sport If You Can Smoke An Entire Pack Of Cigs While Playing
U.S. — A group of sports science experts have ruled that a game cannot be classified as a sport if it is possible to smoke an entire pack of cigarettes while playing.
Catholics Find Common Ground With Protestants In Ignoring What The Pope Says Most Of The Time
WORLD — In a historic ecumenical breakthrough, devout Roman Catholics finally found common ground with Protestants in ignoring what the pope says most of the time.