SACRAMENTO, CA — Governor Gavin Newsom opened up his laptop and fired up ChatGPT this morning to find out what his political positions will be this week.
Babylon Bee
Democrats Furious Trump Would Make Haitians Leave Most Racist Country On Earth
WASHINGTON, D.C. — Democrats have reacted with outrage and fury that President Trump could force Haitians to leave the evil, racist country known as the United States.
9 Cool Things To Do At The Obama Presidential Library
The newly opened Barack Obama Presidential Center contains so much more than documents from Obama’s time in office; there are dozens of incredible, interactive exhibits for visitors of all ages.
Cubans Living In NYC Begin Boarding Rafts To Escape Communism Again
NEW YORK, NY — Cuban Americans across the city reportedly took to the sea, eager to once again escape the terrors of communism in homemade rafts that some believed may not even be capable of making the trip.
Tragic: Competitive Hobby Horser Put Down After Breaking Leg
BRIGHTON, MI — It was a dark day for competitive hobby horsing on Friday as up-and-coming hobby horseman Phillip Ryder tragically broke his leg and had to be put down.
Trump Starting To Think Iran Might Not Be Trustworthy
WASHINGTON, D.C. — After Iran once again fired on ships in the Strait of Hormuz despite an agreement not to, President Donald Trump began to think that perhaps the Iranian government might not be so trustworthy after all.
In Controversial Decision, Supreme Court Rules Words ‘Temporary’ And ‘Forever’ Are Not The Same
WASHINGTON, D.C. — The United States Supreme Court ruled 6-3 on Tuesday that the words "temporary" and "forever" are different, bucking years of tradition.
Report: Heat Wave So Intense The French Are Considering Wearing Deodorant
PARIS — According to locals, the current heat wave in France had become so severe that French citizens began considering wearing deodorant.
John Bolton Pleads Guilty To Failing To Store His Stolen Classified Documents In His Garage
U.S. — Former National Security Advisor John Bolton pleaded guilty in federal court this morning for failing to store stolen classified documents in his garage behind a Corvette.
New ‘Communist Catan’ Expansion Set Just Makes Players All Wait Their Turn For Grain
U.S. — A new "Communist Catan" expansion pack for the popular board game will have players just sit and wait for their turn to collect small amounts of grain.