BOSTON, MA — In a heartbreaking turn of events, the first thing seen by a blind child who had his sight restored was a Boston Red Sox game.
Babylon Bee
8 Shocking Things Artemis II Found On The Far Side Of The Moon
The dark side of the moon has long been the subject of myth and speculation. What mysteries lie beyond the known lunar surface in that dark realm beyond our telescopes?
As Astronauts Reach the Farthest Any Human Has Been From Earth, Mission Specialist Pretty Sure He Left the Oven On
SPACE — On Monday, the Artemis II crew set a new record for the farthest away from Earth humans have ever gone. And as mission specialist Jeremy Hansen stared at the far side of the moon, with the Earth a distant crescent, one thought crossed his mind: He…
Trump Tells Iran This Is Last Warning Before He Sends Bruce Springsteen To Perform There
WASHINGTON, D.C. — President Donald Trump put Iran on notice, stating that this was his final warning before he would send Bruce Springsteen to perform there.
Next-Door Neighbor Either Doing Very Well Financially Or In Massive Amounts Of Debt
SALT LAKE CITY, UT — Local man Tony Flanders noted that, by the looks of it, his next-door neighbor was either very, very wealthy or in massive amounts of debt.
France Questions How Rescue Mission Considered A Success When No One Surrendered To The Nazis
PARIS — On Monday, French officials questioned how the United States could classify the airman rescue mission a success when no one surrendered to the Nazis.
Baseball Traditionalists Long For Good Ol’ Days Of Games Being Decided By Horrifically Bad Calls
U.S. — The installation of the Automated Ball-Strike System in Major League Baseball has left traditionalists longing for the days when games were decided by absurdly awful calls.
‘Look Out!’ Shouts Female Astronaut As Orion Gets Within 5,000 Miles Of Moon
SPACE — Astronaut Christina Koch reportedly played a pivotal role in the success of NASA’s Artemis II lunar mission on Monday when she helpfully screamed in the pilot’s ear as they were just 5,000 miles shy of colliding with the lunar surface.
Downed F-15 Pilot Asks Rescuers If They Can Go Back For His AirPods Real Quick
KOHGILUYEH — A thankful F-15 weapons systems officer reportedly asked his rescuers if he could go back to the crash site to get his AirPods real quick.
It’s Getting Serious: Trump Triple Dog Dares Iran To Keep Strait Of Hormuz Closed
WASHINGTON, D.C. — President Donald Trump’s threats to the Iranian regime escalated drastically over the holiday weekend, with the President issuing a rare "triple dog dare" for Iran to keep the Strait of Hormuz closed.