INDIANAPOLIS, IN – In the most thrilling moment in all of WNBA history, one woman pointed at another woman.
Babylon Bee
For Trans Athlete Ruling, Supreme Court Invites Judge Matt Walsh To Author Opinion Explaining What A Woman Is
WASHINGTON, D.C. — In ruling on whether men can be women, the United States Supreme Court invited esteemed judge and noted woman expert Matt Walsh to author the majority opinion elucidating what, in fact, a woman is.
Local Church Under Fire For ‘Book Of Judges’ VBS Theme
MARBLE FALLS, TX — A local church found itself under fire this week after this year’s Vacation Bible School theme centered around the biblical book ook of Judges, complete with lessons on murder by jawbone and swords engulfed in belly fat.
Kansas City Royals Somehow Find Way To Lose On Day When They Didn’t Play
KANSAS CITY, MO — In an achievement unprecedented in the history of Major League Baseball, the Kansas City Royals somehow managed to find a way to lose on a day when they didn’t play a game.
James Bond Granted License To Kill Anyone With An Air Conditioner
LONDON — In an effort to modernize MI6 for the eco-conscious era, the British government announced that the organization had officially granted James Bond a license to kill anyone with an air conditioner.
National Weather Service Announces Everyone Is Going To Die Tonight Or Absolutely Nothing Is Going To Happen, One Of The Two
SILVER SPRING, MD — The National Weather Service issued a weather alert on Monday announcing that tonight, everyone is going to die, or absolutely nothing is going to happen, but it’s definitely one of the two.
7 Tips For Europeans To Stay Cool Without Air Conditioning
Europeans typically do without air conditioning, presumably because they are perpetually stuck in the Dark Ages and far more interested in burning witches to appease the environment gods. But given the current heat wave, millions of Europeans are now looking for the best ways to stay cool without…
Nervous Speaker At Pride Event Relaxes By Imagining The Crowd Fully Clothed
NEW YORK, NY — The speaker giving the keynote address at the New York City Pride Festival admitted that he pictured everyone in the audience fully clothed to calm his nerves.
Woman Rules It’s Okay To Be Late
WASHINGTON, D.C. — A woman judge has ruled that being late is "totally fine."
Pope Gently Tells Michelangelo He Really Wanted Ceiling To Be More Of A Neutral Gray
VATICAN CITY — After four years of painstaking labor creating thousands of square feet of breathtaking frescoes, Michelangelo at last unveiled the Sistine Chapel ceiling, only to be informed by Pope Julius II that he had really wanted the ceiling to be more of a neutral gray.