PROVIDENCE, RI — Leadership at Brown University, frustrated with the lack of progress in tracking the shooter who killed two students and injured many more on December 13, has reportedly recruited Chief Clancy Wiggum of Springfield to assist in the case.
Babylon Bee
The Babylon Bee’s Predictions For 2026
The seers at The Babylon Bee, authors of hundreds of now-fulfilled prophecies, have come together to bring you our 100% accurate predictions for 2026.
South Pole Elves Making Cheap Knockoff Toys For Half The Price
ANTARCTICA — Santa Claus’ Workshop may be in trouble after it was revealed that elves located at the South Pole have been making cheap knock-off toys for Christmas at half the price.
Groundbreaking New Study Finds Islamophobia May Be Partially Caused By Muslims Killing People All The Time
CAMBRIDGE — As the nations of the West continue to struggle with understanding how to deal with the spread of immigrants from Islamic countries, a groundbreaking new study found that islamophobia may be at least partially caused by Muslims killing people all the time.
James O’Keefe Goes Deep Undercover By Parting His Hair On Other Side
U.S. — According to sources, investigative journalist James O’Keefe once again went deep undercover in spite of his notoriety by parting his hair on the other side.
Pathetic Excuse For A Zoomer Tries Hard At Stuff, Cares About Things
WESTMINSTER, CO — According to sources, a so-called "Zoomer" is actually low-key trying hard at life and caring about things. Totally cringe. Whatever.
Miss Rachel Apologizes For Poorly Timed ‘J Is For Jihad’ Episode
NEW YORK CITY, NY — Popular kids’ entertainment mogul Miss Rachel apologized this week for releasing what many are calling a poorly timed video titled "J Is For Jihad."
Nation’s Worship Leaders To Honor Rob Reiner By Turning Guitars Up To 11
U.S. — In a heartfelt showing of remembrance for the renowned director of This Is Spinal Tap, the nation’s worship leaders collectively announced plans to honor Rob Reiner by turning their guitars up to 11.
After Being Charged With Multiple Felonies, Former Michigan Coach Sherrone Moore Forced To Move To NFL
LAS VEGAS, NV — What was thought of up until recently as a promising college football coaching career took a sad turn this week, as after being charged with multiple felonies, former University of Michigan coach Sherrone Moore was forced to move to the NFL.
Democrats Warn That Ban On Islamic Immigration May Delay Global Intifada
WASHINGTON, D.C. — An executive order banning immigration from several Muslim-majority countries compelled Democratic lawmakers to voice concerns that this may delay the global intifada.