CAMBRIDGE, MA — Local Episcopalian Myrtle Smith has once again elected to undergo an enormous sacrifice by giving up reading her Bible again this Lent.
Babylon Bee
Gavin Newsom Wows Black Audience By Putting Some Hot Sauce In His Purple Drank
ATLANTA, GA — While speaking at the Rialto Center for the Arts as part of promotion for his new memoir, Young Man in a Hurry: A Memoir of Discovery, California Governor Gavin Newsom wowed a black audience by putting some hot sauce into his purple drank.
Cheer Up, Canada: Here Are 7 Things You’re Still Better At Than America
After a tough stretch at the 2026 Winter Olympics, Canadians are understandably feeling a little down. But it’s not all that bad, Canada. There are still reasons to feel good about yourselves.
Dad Enters Crossword Era
SOUTH BEND, IN — According to sources, local husband and father Glenn Riverton has reportedly entered the crossword era of his life.
Olympic Curlers Give Final Salute As They Are Lowered Into Carbon-Freezing Chamber Until Next Winter Games
MILANO — As the 2026 Milano Cortina Olympics came to a close, athletes from various nations participated in the traditional send-offs for their respective sports, with the Olympic curlers being lowered into the carbon-freezing chamber until the next winter games.
U.S. Hockey Team Melts Down Gold Medals to Replace Missing Teeth
MILAN, ITALY — Following their victory over Canada, the US Olympic Hockey Team has continued celebrating by melting down their gold medals to replace all their missing teeth.
Canada Now Officially An American Province
U.S. – After defeating Canada at the only thing it was supposedly good at, the entire territory of Canada has been officially declared an American province.
Communists Once Again Suck At Hockey
Black Man In Utah Obviously Lost
UTAH — A black man was seen in Utah today, obviously lost.
Top 10 Most Brilliant Disguises Of James O’Keefe
Investigative journalist James O’Keefe, famous for going undercover to source his groundbreaking stories, has built a legendary reputation as an unparalleled master of disguise.