U.S. — Americans reported being absolutely staggered by how much better their lives have become since the U.S. went to war with Iran.
Babylon Bee
Bad Sign? Big Mac Now Listed As ‘Market Price’
CHICAGO, IL — The U.S. Bureau of Labor Statistics revealed on Tuesday that America may be heading into a major economic depression following the announcement by the McDonald’s Corporation that Big Macs will now be listed at "market price."
Not Again: Trump Struck In The Ear By Shot From T-Shirt Cannon
NEW YORK, NY — Chaos erupted during the NBA Finals on Monday night, as President Donald Trump was struck in the ear by a T-shirt launched from a cannon at Madison Square Garden while he attended the Knicks-Spurs game.
Los Angeles Officials Warn It May Take Several Weeks To Tally Up Goals From World Cup Matches
LOS ANGELES, CA — With several World Cup matches scheduled to be played at SoFi Stadium, Los Angeles officials warned FIFA that it could take several weeks to tally up the goals for each match.
Trump Narrowly Escapes Being Bitten By Rabid Kristen Welker
EAU CLAIRE, WI — In a frightening encounter during his trip to Wisconsin, President Donald Trump narrowly avoided being bitten by a rabid Kristen Welker.
Playskool Introduces ‘My First Hobo Camp’ For California Children
U.S. — Toy manufacturer Playskool unveiled its latest educational playset this week called "My First Hobo Camp", with the toy designed to help California children develop the practical life skills they would need for adulthood in the Golden State.
Fundamentalist Church Announces Fun VBS Theme ‘Demons Are Out To Get You’
WACO, TX — A local fundamentalist church announced a new theme for VBS that was attracting a lot of attention in the community: "Demons Are Out To Get You."
California Reminds Voters There Are Just 30 Days Left To Vote In Last Tuesday’s Election
LOS ANGELES, CA — California election officials reminded voters over the weekend that there are just 30 days left to mail in their vote for the Los Angeles mayoral election that happened last Tuesday.
Teen Boy Worried Hair Does Not Look Enough Like Head Of Broccoli
HOUSTON, TX — Taking stock of himself in the mirror this morning, local teenager Adrian Larson became deeply concerned that his hair does not look enough like a head of broccoli.
L.A. Vote Update: Spencer Pratt Now At Negative One Billion Votes
LOS ANGELES, CA — After the latest ballot drop, Los Angeles officials released an updated vote tally showing candidate Spencer Pratt was now sitting at negative one billion votes.