SAINT PAUL, MN — The controversy that erupted over last Sunday morning was finally addressed by authorities, as Minnesota leaders ordered the arrest of churchgoers for interrupting a leftist protest.
Babylon Bee
Trump Tells E.U. It’s Time We Start Seeing Other Continents
DAVOS — Speaking in Davos at the World Economic Forum, President Donald Trump broke it to European Union leaders that it was probably time the U.S. starts seeing other continents.
College Team Credits Football Championship To Discipline, Teamwork, $370 Million
MIAMI, FL — The Indiana Hoosiers credited their shocking college football championship victory to discipline, teamwork, and the $370 million spent buying their roster.
Trump To Convert Entire City Of Minneapolis Into Insane Asylum
WASHINGTON, D.C. — As part of the executive order to bring back mental institutions, President Trump announced this morning that he would begin by converting the entire city of Minneapolis into an insane asylum.
Dems Warn ICE Crackdowns Will Make Illegal Immigrants Afraid To Vote
WASHINGTON, D.C. — Democratic lawmakers once again called on the Department of Justice to reign in ICE officers, fearful that mass deportations will make illegals afraid to vote.
Whoops: Trump Reveals He’s Actually Been Thinking Of Iceland This Whole Time
WASHINGTON, D.C. — While appearing at a White House press briefing on Tuesday, President Donald Trump revealed that he had been mistaken and was actually thinking of Iceland this whole time.
JD Vance Shares Ultrasound Of 4th Child
‘Daddy, Can I Get A Bird?’ Says Daughter To Dad Who’s About To Make A Very Big Mistake
WINNEMUCCA, NV — According to witnesses at a local pet store, a father was about to make a fatal mistake after his daughter asked him if she could have a bird.
11 Ways To Ward Off Rioters From Your Church
Following the incident over the weekend when Don Lemon joined leftist protesters to invade a Minnesota church service, churches around the country are looking for ways to avoid suffering the same fate.
After Learning Of Anti-ICE Target Protest, Wife Announces She Too Will Stand Up For Immigrants By Spending All Day In Target
GRAND RAPIDS, MI — After seeing reports of an anti-ICE protest at a Minnesota Target, local wife Beth Harris announced she would also stand up for the plights of immigrants by spending a day in Target.