WORLD — Senator Rand Paul died tragically on Monday after heroically diving in front of an AGM-114 Hellfire missile fired by an MQ-1 Predator Drone before it could strike a Venezuelan drug boat.
Babylon Bee
Newsom Recounts Tough Childhood Where He Got In One Little Fight And Was Forced To Move In With His Auntie And Uncle In Bel-Air
LOS ANGELES, CA — California Governor Gavin Newsom gave voters a rare glimpse into his tragic story while appearing on a popular basketball and entertainment podcast, recounting his tough childhood where he got in one little fight and was forced to move in with his auntie and uncle…
Trump Invites Mario & Sonic To White House To Strike Historic Peace Deal
WASHINGTON, D.C. — President Trump has just announced an invitation for Mario and Sonic to come to the White House and broker a historic peace deal.
Republicans Donate $50 Million To Kamala 2028 Campaign
U.S. — After word that Kamala Harris had not ruled out another Presidential run, Republicans have generously donated $50 million to her 2028 campaign.
Scandal As Blue Jays Test Positive For Performance-Enhancing Maple Syrup
TORONTO — Scandal has rocked the baseball world as shortly after their 11-4 World Series victory, several members of the Toronto Blue Jays tested positive for performance-enhancing maple syrup.
Jets Starting To Wonder If They Should Try A Different Sport
NEW YORK CITY — The New York Jets have begun wondering if perhaps they should try some other sport besides football.
Man Breaks Down Sobbing As He Admits To Cashier He Is Not A Walgreens Rewards Member
PERU, IL — Walgreens cashier Brent Hillside took a hiatus from his job this week after dealing with what he described as a strangely emotional customer who began sobbing uncontrollably when he asked him if he was a Walgreens Rewards member.
Government Shutdown: Pros And Cons
As the government shutdown continued into its fourth week, Americans from all parts of the country reported experiencing a wide range of feelings about it. While some said it did not affect their lives, others were more stressed.
Animatronic ICE Agents Raid Disneyland’s ‘It’s A Small World’
ANAHEIM, CA — The Disneyland theme park was shut down briefly on Friday following an incident where animatronic ICE agents raided the "It’s a Small World" attraction in search of audio-animatronic dolls that were in the county illegally.
Confused Canadians Show Up To World Series With Sticks, Skates
TORONTO — Preparations for the 2025 World Series got off to a rocky start after the confused players of the Toronto Blue Jays showed up to play with sticks and skates.