LOS ANGELES, CA — Lakers superstar LeBron James kicked off the NBA season Tuesday by performing the ceremonial opening flop ahead of the team’s first game against the Golden State Warriors.
Babylon Bee
Black Bears Demand To Be Referred To As ‘Bears Of Color’
SACRAMENTO, CA — In a historic move, California’s famous black bears, in cooperation with the NAACP, met on the steps of the state capitol to demand that they now be referred to as "Bears of Color."
Is It A Sin? Ask The Babylon Bee
People often mistake us for an official church ministry, so we get a lot of e-mails asking about sin. We usually ignore them, but not today! Join us as we exercise deep spiritual discernment to answer the following important questions:
White House Construction Crew Finds 1,357 More Cocaine Stashes
WASHINGTON, D.C. — Construction workers tasked with building a new White House Ballroom reportedly discovered 1,357 stashes of cocaine hidden within the walls and ceilings of the East Wing.
Trump Welcomes Top Australian Diplomat To White House
WASHINGTON, D.C.-In one of his most popular moves of all time, President Trump invited top Australian dignitary Bandit Healer to the White House.
Democrats Enjoy Their Favorite Pastime Of Holding All-White Rallies
WASHINGTON, D.C.-Democrats continued their long tradition of holding whites-only rallies over the weekend as hundreds gathered around the country to protest what they see as executive overreach.
Here Are All The Things Accomplished By Last Weekend’s ‘No Kings’ Protests
Thanks to all of the "No Kings" protests that took place across the United States over the weekend, we now live in a completely different world. There isn’t enough time or space to detail all of the earth-shattering things that have come about as a result of the…
Homeless Man Made Fun Of By All The Other Homeless Men For Not Having iPhone 17
LOS ANGELOS, CA — A local homeless man reported over the weekend that he had been made fun of by all of the other homeless men for not having an iPhone 17.
Bored High School Students Ask Chemistry Teacher When They’re Going To Learn To Cook Meth And Go On Fun Adventures In An RV
SAN DIMAS, CA — A group of bored high school students asked their chemistry teacher this week when he was going to teach them how to cook meth and go on crazy adventures in an RV.
Trump Completes Renovations To White House Throne Room
WASHINGTON, D.C. — Trump administration officials announced on Monday that renovations on the White House Throne Room have been completed.