President Trump may have finally achieved what many long thought impossible, as Israel and Hamas have agreed to the first phase of a peace agreement, but this ceasefire didn’t come without conditions from Hamas.
Babylon Bee
‘Why Am I So Depressed?’ Asks Wife Who Listens To 8 Hours Of Murder Podcasts A Day
WAUKEE, IA — Local suburban housewife Keightlyynn Huxley reported today that an unusual cloud of depression has been following her around lately, and she can’t explain why.
Hitler Brings Peace To Israel
WASHINGTON, D.C. — In a stunning development that experts said could change the course of geopolitics for the foreseeable future, Hitler announced a historic agreement that would bring lasting peace to Israel.
Authorities Warn Katie Porter Has Grown To 600 Feet And Is Currently Rampaging Through San Francisco
SAN FRANCISCO – The National Guard has been called to California’s Golden City to neutralize a 600-foot-tall Katie Porter, who is apparently rampaging her way through San Francisco.
Is Your Wife Overdoing The Halloween Decorations? Look For These Signs
Has your wife crossed the line from fun Halloween decorations to total psychopathy? Look for the signs below that she’s overdone it:
8 Clever Ways To Keep Your Wife Warm This Winter
The seasons are a-changing, and your darling wife is already shivering as temperatures drop into the 70s. With winter approaching, here are eight clever ways to actually keep your wife warm:
Mohammed Upset As Democrats Keep Calling Islam A Religion Of Peace
HELL — The founder of Islam expressed continued frustration with Democrats on Wednesday, calling them out for referring to Islam as a "religion of peace."
Compromise: Trump Agrees To Designate Chicago Mayor’s House ‘ICE-Free Zone’
CHICAGO, IL – President Trump has graciously agreed to compromise with Chicago Mayor Brandon Johnson, allowing for designation of an "ICE-free zone" in the Mayor’s house.
In Honor Of October 7, Mamdani Paraglides Into Campaign Event
NEW YORK CITY — New York City mayoral candidate Zohran Mamdani paraglided into his campaign event today in honor of October 7th and the horrific atrocities committed by Hamas that day.
James Comey Produces Letter Signed By 51 Former Intelligence Officials Saying He’s Totally Innocent
ALEXANDRIA, VA — At his arraignment on charges of making false statements and obstruction, former FBI Director James Comey produced a letter signed by 51 former intelligence officials testifying to the fact that he’s totally innocent.