ANAHEIM, CA — During Thursday night’s hockey game between the San Jose Sharks and Anaheim Ducks, one lucky fan reportedly created a lifelong memory when he caught a foul tooth.
Babylon Bee
In Dire Need Of Toilet, Artemis Lands At Buc-ee’s
LAKE JACKSON, TX — After nearly nine days without a fully functioning toilet, the crew of NASA’s Artemis II mission changed course from splashing down off the coast of California and instead headed straight for a Buc-ee’s.
Trump Assures Nation Troops Will Only Stay Deployed Until Middle East Peaceful
WASHINGTON, D.C. — With the nation concerned about becoming involved in another never-ending conflict, President Trump assured Americans that U.S. troops would only remain deployed until the Middle East was at peace.
San Francisco Unveils New City Connect Jersey
SAN FRANCISCO, CA — The San Francisco Giants unveiled their new City Connect jerseys today with a nod to the feces makes the city so unique.
Here’s What Each Of The 73 Letters In Canada’s New LGBT Acronym Stands For
If you haven’t heard, Canada has officially dropped a new acronym for the LGBT movement with many, many new additions. The LGBT community in Canada is now:
‘He’s Right Behind Me, Isn’t He?’ Says Thomas After Declaring He Won’t Believe Jesus Rose Until He Sees Him
JERUSALEM — After definitively declaring that he would not believe in Jesus’ resurrection unless he saw and touched him, the Apostle Thomas was completely humiliated to learn that Jesus was right behind him the whole time.
Embarrassed Iranians Confess They Don’t Actually Know What ‘Ceasefire’ Means
ISLAMABAD — Amid ongoing reports that Iran had broken an expected two-week ceasefire by failing to sufficiently reopen the Strait of Hormuz, threatening to target vessels who who seek to travel the waters without first coordinating with their armed forces, and firing missiles at five different countries, Iranian…
Opinion: I Know I Was Wrong the First 1,347 Times, But Now Is the Time to Completely Freak Out About What Trump Said
This is it. President Trump has crossed a line with his latest statement. We can’t just talk — we need to take action!
Battle-Hardened Drone Returning From Iran War Struggling To Re-enter Life Of Delivering Amazon Orders
CHARLESTON, SC — After returning from the frontlines of the war in Iran, a local drone has found itself struggling to adapt back to a civilian life of delivering Amazon packages.
Who Won The War With Iran? 10 Different News Outlets Report
The U.S.-Iran War has captured hearts and headlines all over the world. Now, with a two-week ceasefire agreement in place, here’s how popular media outlets are reporting it: