HELL — Satan confirmed this week that he was, in fact, responsible for raisins.
Babylon Bee
Trump Shocked To Learn Genocidal Jihadists Often Don’t Negotiate In Good Faith
WASHINGTON, D.C. — After seeing carefully negotiated ceasefires between the U.S. and Iran and Israel and Hezbollah fail to bring about lasting peace in the troubled region, President Donald Trump was reportedly shocked to learn that genocidal jihadists often don’t negotiate in good faith.
‘Sesame Street’ Now Preceded By Warning That Its Content Is Not Suitable For Children
NEW YORK, NY — For the month of June, episodes of Sesame Street will now be preceded by a warning indicating that the show is no longer suitable for children, Sesame Workshop announced on Tuesday.
Graham Platner Says He Got His ‘I (Heart) Hitler’ Tattoo Before He Knew Of Its Nazi Connections
AUGUSTA, ME — While Republicans continued working overtime to smear Senate candidate Graham Platner because of all the awful things he is and does, Platner had enough and decided to fight back.
Celebrate Pride Month With These 12 Inspiring Bible Passages About Pride
It’s Pride Month again, making this the perfect time of year to see what inspirational passages can be found in God’s Word that pertain to the subject.
State Where P-51 Mustang Was Built In 102 Days Now Taking 4 Years To Build Bridge For Butterflies
AGOURA HILLS, CA — Officials working on new construction in California were surprised to learn that their own state, which was struggling to build a bridge for butterflies over the course of four years at a cost of over $100 million, had apparently once developed and built the…
Attack Ad Against Republican Convinces Man To Vote For Republican
SAN BERNARDINO, CA — An attack ad against a Republican candidate reportedly had the opposite effect when it convinced a local man to vote for the Republican.
Popular New Service Removes All The Orange Candies Before You Get The Box
U.S. — A popular new service that sifts through your boxes of candy to remove all the orange pieces for you has reportedly taken off with consumers.
Trump Recognizes Pride Month By Hosting Soccer Match On White House Lawn
WASHINGTON, D.C. — In an unusual gesture across a prominent social divide, President Donald Trump took the official step of recognizing Pride Month this year by hosting a soccer match right on the White House lawn.
Disney Hoping To Revive Star Wars So They Can Kill It Again
BURBANK, CA — Following a precipitous fall at the box office for The Mandalorian and Grogu, reports circulated that Disney executives called an urgent meeting with Lucasfilm to come up with a plan to revive the floundering Star Wars franchise so they could kill it again.