HOUSTON, TX — With the toilet about Artemis II breaking for the second time, NASA began to wonder if stocking the shuttle with Chipotle may have been a mistake.
Babylon Bee
Man Getting Really Excited About Mario Movie After Seeing Critics Hated It
EUGENE, OR — Local man Bennett Stenson has become increasingly excited for the new Mario movie after hearing that film critics hated it.
Fruit Cart Insurance No Longer Covering Destruction From Car Chases
COSTA MESA, CA — In what was sure to be a blow to street vendors across the nation, the country’s leading provider announced that fruit cart insurance would no longer cover destruction from car chases.
Disciples Wondering What Jesus Could Have Possibly Meant By ‘They Will Kill Me And In Three Days I Will Rise From The Dead’
JERUSALEM — The disciples of Christ, distraught and crushed by the events of Friday, began to wonder what Jesus could have possibly meant when he said, "They will kill me and in three days I will rise from the dead."
Pharisee Asks If It’s Normal For Temple Curtain To Suddenly Rip in Half
JERUSALEM — A Pharisee by the name of Ahaziah asked his fellow scribes if it was normal for the temple curtain to suddenly and spontaneously rip in half from top to bottom.
Canadian Astronaut Humanely Euthanized After Suffering Light Bruise During Takeoff
SPACE — In accordance with Canadian law, the crew of NASA’s Artemis II mission successfully euthanized Canadian astronaut Jeremy Hansen after discovering he’d suffered a light bruise during takeoff.
10 Fun Megachurch Events For Easter 2026
If you’re gearing up to attend Easter service at a megachurch, you’re in for an exciting Sunday.
Supreme Court Denounces New ABS System That Says Whether They Decided A Case Wrong
WASHINGTON, D.C. — Similar to the reaction of umpires to Major League Baseball’s adoption of its new "Automated Ball-Strike System" to challenge calls, the United States Supreme Court has denounced the new "Automated Bench Scrutiny" system implemented to determine whether they decided a case wrong.
Woman Born In August Worried Husband Isn’t Thinking About Her Birthday Yet
PROVO, UT — Local woman Denise Stanford expressed concern that her husband, Mike, had yet to begin even thinking about her August 26th birthday.
Trump Introduces New Birth-Wrong Citizenship Rule To Deport All Losers And Haters
WASHINGTON, D.C. — President Donald Trump has for a long time criticized the concept of birthright citizenship — the idea that U.S. citizenship extends to anyone who was born within the U.S.’s borders. Rather than wait for a Supreme Court decision about it, Trump announced his own legislation…