Getting a little tired of youth pastors teaching the Parable of the Talents and then asking you to go stack some chairs? Consider telling everyone you have the spiritual gift of encouragement.
Babylon Bee
Tulsi Gabbard Forced To Resign After Trump Discovers She’s Not Blonde
WASHINGTON, D.C. — Director of National Intelligence Tulsi Gabbard was forced to resign on Friday after President Donald Trump discovered that she’s not blonde.
Man Discovers Amazing New Weight Loss Method Of Crippling Stress And Anxiety
NEW BRITAIN, CT — Local tax preparer Frank MacArthur recently discovered an amazingly effective way to lose weight that makes simple use of crippling stress and anxiety.
‘Throw Pillows’ Narrowly Edges ‘Food’ In Local Couple’s Monthly Budget
DES MOINES, IA — After a tense end-of-month budgeting session, local couple Derek and Amanda Hollister confirmed on Friday that "throw pillows" had once again narrowly edged out "food" as the family’s largest monthly expense.
10 Great New Jobs For Stephen Colbert After ‘Late Show’ Finale
Talk show host Steven Colbert signed off this week after CBS aired his final episode of The Late Show, leaving him on the hunt for his next professional endeavor. But what will he do next?
Trump Surprises Don Jr. With Beautiful Wedding Gift Of Cuba
WASHINGTON, D.C. — President Donald Trump confirmed on Friday that, instead of attending his son’s wedding in the Bahamas, he had a very special surprise for him: Cuba.
DNC 2024 Election Autopsy Just Joe Biden’s Actual Autopsy
U.S. — The Democratic National Committee released its autopsy this week of what went wrong in the 2024 election cycle, the contents of which turned out to just be the results of an autopsy performed on former President Joe Biden.
Hunter Biden’s Reputation In Ruins After Talking To Candace Owens
U.S. — After sitting down for an interview with podcaster Candace Owens, Hunter Biden’s reputation was reportedly in ruins.
Company-Wide Meeting Really Just For Phil
GREENVILLE, SC — Sources revealed that the company-wide meeting scheduled today for all SynerTech employees was, in actuality, just for Phil.
Scholars Believe John Was Known As ‘The Baptist’ To Differentiate Himself From ‘John The Presbyterian’
CAMBRIDGE — Scholars at Cambridge University now believe the biblical John the Baptist only went by that name to distinguish himself from other prominent Johns of the period, particularly John the Presbyterian.