SARATOGA SPRINGS, UT — Local wife Brittany Spencer was reportedly seen starting her Christmas planning for next year on December 26th.
Babylon Bee
Walz Announces $8 Billion Grant To Somali Company To Investigate Fraud
ST. PAUL, MN — In response to growing allegations of fraud tied to Minnesota’s Somali community, Governor Tim Walz announced he had awarded an $8 billion grant to a Somali company to find the perpetrators.
Benny Johnson Reacts To Benny Johnson Reacting To Benny Johnson
U.S. — In a brand new Benny Johnson video, media personality Benny Johnson reacts to a Benny Johnson video where he reacts to an older Benny Johnson tweet about a Benny Johnson video.’
The Babylon Bee Announces Its ‘Persons Of The Year’ Awards For 2025
As we close out 2025, the time has come to announce the greatest of all awards, that prize far more coveted than a mere Nobel Prize or Oscar. After hours of intense debate, countless votes, and the sacking of two employees, we are now ready to reveal The…
The Babylon Bee Would Like To Inform Tim Walz We Are Now A Functioning Daycare In Minnesota
We at The Babylon Bee would like to let Governor Tim Walz know that we are now a fully functioning daycare in Minnesota serving literally millions of children.
Trump Gives Terrorists Gift Of Meeting Allah For Christmas
NIGERIA — President Trump has given dozens of ISIS terrorists the gift of getting to meet Allah for Christmas.
Person Who Apparently Hates You Got Your Kid A Recorder
SAN CARLOS, CA — A person who apparently hates you got your kid a recorder for Christmas.
Uh Oh: Wife Actually DID Want Something For Christmas
U.S. — What had been a joyous holiday threatened to be thrown into panic, as urgent reports began trickling in that, despite her repeated statements to the contrary over the last month, your wife actually did want something for Christmas.
Jolly Neil DeGrasse Tyson Going Down People’s Chimneys And Telling Kids Santa Isn’t Real
KNOXVILLE, TN — It’s that time of year again, when astrophysicist Neil DeGrasse Tyson renews his annual tradition of going down people’s chimneys to tell their kids that Santa isn’t real.
Oh No! Russian Forces Invade Alaska While NORAD Distracted Tracking Santa
ANCHORAGE, AK — A military spokesman confirmed Wednesday that Russian forces launched a successful sneak attack on Alaska while everyone at North American Aerospace Defense Command (NORAD) was busy tracking Santa’s sleigh.