PHOENIX, AZ — Following her surprising appearance onstage with Erika Kirk at Turning Point USA’s AmFest, rapper Nicki Minaj revealed that her hit song "Anaconda" was actually about how the federal government needs to reduce deficit spending.
Babylon Bee
Man Thought Adult Christmases Would Have A Lot More Surprise Cars With Giant Bows On Top
BLUFFTON, IN — Local man Mark Connors wouldn’t describe himself as ungrateful so much as surprised to learn that, as an adult, Christmas didn’t involve more cars with giant bows on them waiting outside.
Man Driving Electric Car Blasting Nicki Minaj Clearly Right-Wing
BEVERLY HILLS, CA — According to sources, locals noticed a local man driving an electric car down Rodeo Drive and blasting Nicki Minaj out of his open windows – clearly outing himself as a Right-winger.
Click Here To See All The Epstein Photos So Far That Don’t Include Bill Clinton
The Babylon Bee has scoured through the thousands of pages of newly released Epstein documents to uncover all of the photos that don’t include former President Bill Clinton. Here they are, in chronological order:
Uh-Oh: Car You Honked And Swore At For Driving Too Slow Just Turned Into Your Church Parking Lot
SANTA FE, NM — After honking and swearing at a slow-moving car this morning, Marcus Nabors watched in horror as the car slowly turned its way into the parking lot of Nabors’ church.
Texas Issues Annual Reminder Not To Shoot Santa
AUSTIN, TX — The State of Texas has issued its annual reminder for residents to please refrain from shooting Santa Claus.
Op-Ed: No One Talks Anymore About the Dangers Of Jazz Music
Everyone used to know about the treacherous pitfalls of listening to jazz music — how it would lead to a life of sin and debauchery. Somehow, people stopped talking about the dangers of jazz, even though the music never changed.
Investigation Reveals Pelosi Purchased $10 Million Of Taco Bell Stock Day Before Marijuana Rule Change
WASHINGTON, D.C. — An investigation has revealed that Representative Nancy Pelosi purchased $10 million in Taco Bell stock the day before President Trump loosened marijuana regulations.
7 Other Things Trump Is Naming After Himself
Donald Trump loves Donald Trump. And who can blame him? That’s why it’s super cool and not at all strange that the iconic Kennedy Center for the Performing Arts is being renamed the Trump-Kennedy Center. But this is only the beginning.
Trump Hard At Work Coming Up With Insulting Plaque For Rutherford B. Hayes
WASHINGTON, D.C. — After writing gloriously disparaging plaques for dozens of subpar presidents in the White House’s "Presidential Walk of Fame," Trump was reportedly working late into the night to come up with a sufficiently insulting plaque for Rutherford B. Hayes.