HOUSTON, TX — Local conservative Brady Jones admitted to friends this week that he was just too tired of political drama to have an opinion about whatever is going on with Kentucky Representative Thomas Massie.
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Man Helpfully Points Out To Wife That She Looks Tired
TOPEKA, KS — Local hero Greg Miller was praised this week for his keen observation skills after courageously informing his wife, Sarah, that she looked "tired."
Faux Pas: Trump Gifts President Xi With Pot Of Honey From White House Beehive
BEIJING — President Donald Trump’s meeting with Chinese President Xi Jinping was going swimmingly until Trump made a crucial (but common) error: gifting Xi a large jar of honey from the White House beehive.
Study Determines Reason Kids Failing At Math Is Because They No Longer Play ‘Math Blaster’
U.S. — The results of a groundbreaking new study appear to show that the reason today’s children routinely struggle with mathematics is because they no longer play computer games from the bestselling Math Blaster! franchise.
‘Spencer Pratt’s Rhetoric Is Dangerous,’ Warns Karen Bass To The 30 Angelenos Who Haven’t Been Stabbed To Death By Hobos
LOS ANGELES, CA — Mayor Karen Bass struck back at mayoral candidate Spencer Pratt on Wednesday, warning the surviving Angelenos who hadn’t been stabbed to death by a hobo that his rhetoric was dangerous.
Too Far? Christopher Nolan Casts Steve Buscemi As Helen Of Troy
U.S. — In a move that even some within the entertainment industry are branding as "too far", director Christopher Nolan has cast actor Steve Buscemi as Helen of Troy.
The NYTimes Reveals: 7 More Shocking Things Israel Has Trained Animals To Do
NOT SATIRE: My family fled communism — and American media almost turned me INTO a communist.
Like Genghis Khan Gazing Over His Empire, Man Watches As Fixed Sprinkler No Longer Waters Driveway
OGDEN, UT — As the great Khan once stood admiring the vast reaches of his empire, so local man Philip Bauer stood this morning, watching as his freshly-repaired sprinkler no longer watered the driveway.
BREAKING: Wife Seems Upset; UPDATE: False Alarm — She Said ‘I’m Fine’
AKRON, OH — Curtis Whitaker noticed some subtle differences in his wife, Janie. Her face seemed on the verge of a frown as she kept glancing at him, and all her verbal interactions were very short and curt when usually Janie was quite loquacious.
9 Signs ‘Lord of the Rings’ Is Clearly A Pagan Work
NOT SATIRE: Help Share Genesis in Full Color Animation