LOS ANGELES — An investigation has revealed that a secretive bettor going by the name "Shoberto Ohnandez" placed a massive $15 million wager on the Los Angeles Angels to win last night.
Babylon Bee
Dallas Cowboys Ask If Fans Can Throw Those Green Things At Them Like People Do At WNBA Games
DALLAS — After viewing footage of the controversial items being thrown at WNBA games, Cowboys players expressed a degree of interest in having similar objects thrown at them this season.
Man’s Self Esteem Yet To Recover From Time 7 Years Ago Online Quiz Put Him In Hufflepuff
DAVENPORT, IA — According to insiders, the self esteem of local man Jacob Filch has yet to recover from a time seven years prior when an online Harry Potter quiz put him in Hufflepuff.
Puzzled DC Police Chief Asks Reporters, ‘What Is This Black And White Car That Goes Wee-oo Wee-oo?’
WASHINGTON, D.C. — A press conference to update the media on the department’s ongoing efforts to rein in crime following President Donald Trump’s threat to federalize the city was briefly interrupted today but a loud noise, leading DC Police Chief Pamela Smith to ask journalists what was causing…
7 Major Advantages Of Female Umpires
While naysayers doubted Major League Baseball’s decision to hire its first female umpire, the advantages have already proved undeniable. Here are seven huge benefits of having lady umps:
10 Sneaky Ways To Share The Gospel Without Letting People Know You’re A Christian
Sharing the Good News can be awkward and nerve-wracking, but it’s a command from our Lord, so you’d better do it. But how? Are there any ways to do it on the sly so nobody outs you as one of those weirdo Christians?
Trump Negotiates Russian Ceasefire By Giving Putin California
WASHINGTON, D.C. — The bloody years-long conflict between Ukraine and Russia was finally brought to an end this week, as President Donald Trump successfully negotiated a ceasefire between the countries by agreeing to give Vladimir Putin California.
‘Crime is Down In DC!’ Shouts Journalist Currently Being Pummeled By Group Of Thugs
WASHINGTON, D.C. — Shocking dozens of viewers, a CNN journalist was nearly beaten to death by a group of thugs during a live broadcast while reporting that crime is down in D.C.
Tucker Carlson Releases Exclusive Interview With Dredged-Up Corpse Of Osama Bin Laden
WOODSTOCK, ME — In an episode of his program that was sure to create significant buzz online, Tucker Carlson announced an exclusive interview with the dredged-up corpse of long-dead terrorist leader Osama bin Laden.
Jerome Powell Says He Won’t Lower Interest Rates Until He Can Be Sure It Won’t Help Trump
WASHINGTON, D.C. — Federal Reserve Chair Jerome Powell confirmed Tuesday he will not lower interest rates until he can be sure it won’t help President Trump.