U.S. — Despite claims by President Donald Trump that American cities are being overrun by criminals, Democrat mayors across the country reported that violent crime was actually down 40% since they redefined the words "violent" and "crime".
Babylon Bee
New Movie Has Jim Caviezel Playing Every Character From Entire Bible
U.S. — A Biblical epic in development at Angel Studios will reportedly star American actor Jim Caviezel as every single character from the entire Bible.
Vigilante Justice: Trump Dresses Up As Bat And Patrols Streets Of DC
WASHINGTON, D.C. — Left without other practical options in a city overwhelmed by violent crime, President Donald Trump reportedly decided to dispense vigilante justice by dressing up like a giant bat and patrolling the streets of D.C.
10 Undeniable Reasons Communist China Is Way Better Than America
Glory to glorious leader, President Xi!
In Lieu Of Dystopian Sci-Fi Movie, American Just Watching News From England
U.S. — According to sources, Americans no longer need dystopian sci-fi novels to serve as ominous warnings of authoritarian control or societal collapse, as they now have England for that.
Trump Vows To Drastically Reduce The Number Of Criminals In Washington By Sending Congress Home
WASHINGTON, D.C. — In response to growing concern across the country about rampant crime in the nation’s capital, President Donald Trump vowed to drastically reduce the number of criminals in Washington, D.C., by sending members of Congress home.
DC Mayor Warns Trump’s Crime Fighting Measures Will Unfairly Impact Criminals
WASHINGTON, D.C. — Following the announcement that the president had ordered the federalization of law enforcement in the nation’s capital, Washington, D.C., Mayor Muriel Bowser warned that Trump’s crime-fighting measures would unfairly impact criminals.
8 Changes Trump Is Making To The 2028 Olympics
After declaring himself chair of the 2028 Olympic Task Force, President Trump wasted no time in making much-needed alterations to the summer games. Here are eight changes that will be coming when the Olympics heads to Los Angeles:
Spirit Flight Attendant Says In The Event Of A Water Landing Lifejackets Will Be Available For $39.99
U.S. — Spirit Airlines flight attendants have begun advertising that in the event of a water landing, passengers will have the option of purchasing a lifejacket for $39.99.
Study Finds Alcohol Sales Spike Sharply During VBS
U.S. — A national study has found massive spikes in alcohol sales whenever a Vacation Bible School is hosted nearby.









