U.S. — Despite hopes to the contrary, recent news reports reveal A.I. still hasn’t replaced your job, so sadly, you still have to go to work this week.
Babylon Bee
Obama Presidential Library Design Faces Criticism
CHICAGO, IL — As the Obama Presidential Center nears completion, it has faced significant criticism for a design that many say bears a striking resemblance to Castle Grayskull.
Israel Botches Genocide With Millions In Food Aid
GAZA — In an embarrassing blunder, Israel has authorized millions of dollars in food aid to be delivered to the Gaza Strip, completely messing up their ongoing genocide.
Do You Own Enough Swords? Take The Quiz!
Wokeness Defeated: America Returns To Christian Roots Of Objectifying Women To Sell Crap
U.S. — Conservatives across the country cheered the death of wokeness as America finally returned to its Christian roots of objectifying women’s bodies to sell stuff.
Nation’s Lesbians Announce Plan To Go To The Zoo Today
U.S. — The lesbians of the nation have announced that they are once again planning to go to the zoo today.
Authorities Drop Giant Dome On San Diego Convention Center To Contain Comic-Con Smell
SAN DIEGO, CA — Authorities have launched an ambitious operation to drop a massive dome over the San Diego Convention Center to keep the Comic-Con smell contained.
Seeker-Sensitive Church Hires Sydney Sweeney For New Ad Campaign
NAPERVILLE, IL — A local seeker-sensitive church was attracting a lot of attention this week with an exciting new ad campaign featuring Sydney Sweeney.
The Babylon Bee Presents An Exclusive Excerpt From Joe Biden’s Memoir
The world was abuzz this week with the news that former President Joe Biden had inked a $10 million deal to write his memoir, leading pundits and analysts everywhere to wonder what new information may be contained in the upcoming book.
Uber To Begin Offering ‘Not An Asian’ Option
SAN FRANCISCO, CA — In a bid to improve customer safety, ridesharing app Uber announced a new "Not An Asian" feature on their platform which automatically filters out Asian drivers.