U.S. — According to sources, federal employees are eager for the government shutdown to end so they can go back to work and get some real rest.
Babylon Bee
Democrats Demand Trump Stop Fanning The Flames Of Peace
WASHINGTON, D.C. — Democrats have called on President Donald J. Trump to stand down and immediately stop fanning the flames of peace.
Sad Greta Thunberg Asks If Anyone Else Needs A Flotilla
STOCKHOLM — The ceasefire agreement between Israel and Hamas that was brokered by President Donald Trump had other unforeseen consequences, as sources reported hearing a sad Greta Thunberg ask if anyone else needed a flotilla.
Democrats Vow To Keep Government Shut Down Until Someone Notices
WASHINGTON, D.C. — As Americans across the country continued to carry on their day-to-day lives without any significant changes, Democrats vowed to keep the federal government shut down until someone notices.
9 Fun Ways To Celebrate Columbus Day
Back in 1492, Christopher Columbus sailed the ocean blue so that you could have an American holiday where everyone still has to work. Now it’s time to honor his achievement.
Asians Still Sticking With The Masks
WORLD — With COVID-19 no longer a public health emergency, people have largely abandoned their face masks and returned to pre-pandemic levels of caution with their health. That is, except for Asians, who appear to still be sticking with the masks.
Baby Attains 3rd-Degree Blackbelt In Rolling Out Of Diaper Changes
GREENWOOD, MO — Martial arts enthusiasts celebrated a historic achievement this week, as a local baby attained a 3rd-degree black belt in rolling out of diaper changes.
Man Buys New TV So He Can Watch NFL Refs Blow Calls In Stunning 4K Resolution
NEW BRAUNFELS, TX — One superfan’s dream of seeing his team play in high definition came true this weekend, as a local man bought a new TV so he could watch NFL referees blow calls in stunning 4K resolution.
People Who Have Been Calling For A Ceasefire For Two Years Denounce Ceasefire
U.S. — Anti-Israel protestors denounced the Trump-brokered ceasefire in Israel after months of demanding that Trump broker a peace deal in Gaza.
Leftists Take To Streets To Protest End Of Genocide
WORLD — Leftists across the globe took to the streets over the weekend to protest the ceasefire in Gaza and the end of genocide.