U.S. — A new popular trend was reported to be sweeping America in the wake of HHS Secretary Robert F. Kennedy’s announcement linking the use of a popular over-the-counter painkiller to a higher risk of autism, as pregnant women began downing Tylenol in hopes that their sons would…
Babylon Bee
U.S. Begs Brigitte Macron To Please, Please Not Submit Photographic Proof She Is Woman
U.S. — In the midst of an ongoing slander lawsuits regarding allegations that she was born a man, Americans are begging Brigitte Macron to please, please not send them photographic proof she is a woman.
Sinful, Rebellious Homeschooler Stays Up Past 9:30 To Read Chronicles Of Narnia
MILWAUKEE, WI — In a dreadful act of willful disobedience, sinful rebellious homeschooler Jaxsyn Clement stayed up past 9:30 p.m. to read The Chronicles of Narnia.
RFK Announces It’s Actually Fine To Eat The Stuff In The Little Pouch That Says ‘Do Not Eat’
WASHINGTON, D.C. — Decades of fear were swept away for millions of Americans this week, as Health and Human Services Secretary Robert F. Kennedy Jr. announced that it’s actually fine to eat the stuff in the little pouch that says "DO NOT EAT."
ABC Unfires Jimmy Kimmel For Offensive Comments So They Can Instead Fire Him For Not Being Funny
BURBANK, CA — What had been a week of upheaval in the late-night television landscape came full circle on Monday, as ABC announced that they were unfiring Jimmy Kimmel for offensive comments so they could instead fire him for not being funny.
Calvinism In Decline After Trump And RFK Cure Autism
WASHINGTON, D.C. — Calvinism is reportedly in major decline after President Trump and Health Secretary Robert F. Kennedy Jr. found the cure for autism.
CNN: Charlie Kirk Memorial ‘Mostly Hateful’
ATLANTA — CNN’s full coverage of this weekend’s memorial service for Charlie Kirk was nominated for an Emmy after they referred to the emotional, patriotic service as "mostly hateful."
7 Causes Of Autism Newly Revealed By RFK Jr.
Health and Human Services Secretary Robert F. Kennedy Jr. is hard at work narrowing down potential causes of autism, and some of them may shock you.
Canada Tries Clever Counter-Terrorism Strategy Of Giving Terrorists Everything They Want
OTTAWA, CANADA — In response to growing threats, Canada is pushing back against the Palestinian terror networks by employing a clever counter-terrorism strategy of giving terrorists whatever they want.
Awkward Moment As Trump And Elon Caught On Kiss Cam
GLENDALE, AZ — President Trump and Tesla CEO Elon Musk shared an awkward moment Sunday during the memorial for Charlie Kirk when they were both caught on a kiss cam.