VALLEY OF ELAH — What should have been a joyous celebration following a decisive victory over the Philistines turned to controversy, as the young shepherd boy David was condemned for executing the giant Goliath of Gath without due process.
Babylon Bee
NFL Fires Officiating Crew That Allowed Chiefs To Lose Season Opener
NEW YORK, NY — A major shakeup sent shockwaves across the NFL following the first week of the new season, as the league fired the officiating crew that allowed the Kansas City Chiefs to lose their season opener.
Democrats Condemn Stabbing Victims For Inflating Crime Numbers
CHARLOTTE, NC — Democratic lawmakers responded to the fatal stabbing of a Ukrainian refugee aboard the Charlotte light rail be condemning all stabbing victims for inflating crime numbers.
WNBA Fans Out For Season
U.S. — All WNBA fans have officially been ruled out for the remainder of the 2025 season.
On Heels Of Second Bad Job Report, Trump Fires Math
WASHINGTON, D.C. – In the wake of the second consecutive poor monthly jobs report, President Trump has announced that he will be firing math and numbers.
Shocking: Philly Sports Fan Acts Like Philly Sports Fan
PHILADELPHIA, PA — The nation is in shock today after a widely-circulated video showing a Philly sports fan acting like a Philly sports fan.
Michigan Police Help Muslim Immigrants Feel Welcome By Wearing Suicide Vests
DEARBORN HEIGHTS, MI — In what experts described as a major step toward a greater level of inclusivity for law enforcement agencies across the country, one Michigan police department announced that it would help Muslim immigrants feel more welcome by having its officers wear suicide vests while out…
Ford Introduces Pumpkin Spice F-150
DEABORN, MI — Just in time for fall, motorists found out that they were in for a special seasonal treat, as the Ford Motor Company introduced the limited edition Pumpkin Spice F-150 pickup truck.
10 Other Departments Trump Is Renaming
The Department of Defense is officially being renamed the Department of War, but President Trump isn’t going to stop there. A long list of government agencies is set to get the same treatment.
Sad: Kids Find A Secret World Behind Old Wardrobe, But It’s Just Toledo, Ohio
TOLEDO, OH — In a disappointing turn of events, four young siblings exploring their grandmother’s attic stumbled upon a magical wardrobe that promised a fantastical adventure, only to discover it led to Toledo, Ohio instead.