PYONGYANG — A group of oppressed people arrived in a new land in hopes of making a better life for themselves, as a ship filled with British refugees traveled to North Korea in search of freedom.
Babylon Bee
Colbert’s Dancing Vaccines Called To Testify At RFK Jr. Senate Hearing
WASHINGTON, D.C. — Interest in the Senate Finance Committee’s questioning of the Health and Human Services Secretary reached a new high today, as Stephen Colbert’s dancing vaccines were called to testify at Robert F. Kennedy Jr.’s hearing.
Calvinist NFL Preview: Each Team Shall Win The Games They Were Predestined To Win
U.S. — In anticipation of what promised to be a highly competitive pro football season, Calvinist sports analysts at The Babylon Bee predicted that each NFL team would win the games they were predestined to win by the Creator.
Trump Announces He’s Outsourcing Space Force Headquarters To India
WASHINGTON, D.C. — President Donald Trump made a surprise announcement this week that he was outsourcing the United States Space Force operations to India and moving its headquarters to Kolkata.
Man Who Needs To Wake Up Early Sets Dog To Vomit At 5:00 AM
DENVER, CO — Struggling to find a way to get up early to make it in to work on time, a local man decided to go with the foolproof method of setting his dog to vomit at 5:00 AM.
British Authorities Warn There Is A Man Loose On The Streets Threatening To Share An Opinion
LONDON — Authorities warned British citizens of widespread reports of a dangerous man loose on the streets, threatening to share an opinion.
More Winning: Trump Bombs Ship Smuggling 30,000 Kilos Of Pumpkin Spice
U.S. — In the latest in an ongoing streak of victories that experts predicted would significantly improve the lives of Americans, President Donald Trump announced that he had ordered the U.S. military to bomb a ship smuggling over 30,000 kilos of illegal pumpkin spice.
Hunter Biden Tells Dad He Going To Need A New Boat
REHOBOTH BEACH, DE — Hunter Biden informed his father today that, due to an unexpected malfunction, he is going to be needing a new boat.
9 Most Surprising Things You Can Get Arrested For In The UK
Authorities in the UK are cracking down on just about everything these days, but some of the things that can get you in trouble may surprise you.
Osama Bin Laden Getting Real Friggin’ Tired Of Not Getting Credit for 9/11
THE INFERNO — In a stunning tell-all interview from the bowels of Hell, Osama bin Laden said he is getting really friggin’ sick and tired of not getting credit for 9/11.