WASHINGTON, D.C. — In a bold response to the recent shootings in left-leaning cities, Democratic leaders courageously stepped up to demand common-sense prayer control.
Babylon Bee
10 Ways Taylor Swift And Travis Kelce Point Us To Christ
As the male staff of the Babylon Bee wiped away tears after seeing the engagement photos, we couldn’t help being overcome by all the ways Taylor Swift and Travis Kelce point us to Christ. Here are just ten of them:
Nation That Once Charged Into Certain Death For Freedom Now Letting Their Daughters Handle The Rape Gangs
SCOTLAND — According to reports, the homeland of William Wallace has shifted away from charging into certain death in the name of freedom to just letting their teenage daughters handle the violent rape gangs.
Overcorrection? Cracker Barrel Adds Confederate Flag To Logo And Changes Name To ‘The South Will Rise Again’
LEBANON, TN — Questions continue to swirl over whether perhaps Cracker Barrel went too far overcorrecting as it unveiled a logo featuring a Confederate flag and the new name "The South Will Rise Again."
UK Enacts Plan To Stop Rape Gangs By Arresting All Potential Rape Victims
SCOTLAND — As part of a sweeping effort to put a stop to Arab migrant rape gangs terrorizing the country, UK authorities have begun rounding up and arresting all potential rape victims.
Southwest To Require Your Mom To Charter Entire Plane
DALLAS, TX — As part of a company-wide initiative to increase revenue and provide a greater level of comfort for its passengers, Southwest Airlines announced that, effective immediately, your mom would be required to charter the entire plane to accommodate her.
Travis Kelce Finally Acquires Ring Without Help Of Referees
U.S. — Travis Kelce, long-time tight end for the Kansas City Chiefs, has finally acquired an expensive ring without the help of NFL referees.
Instant Sainthood: Man Installs Car Seat Without Cussing
ST. LOUIS, MO — Witnesses report that Micah Rupe was granted instant sainthood after he properly installed a car seat without cussing even once.
Travis Kelce Says He’ll Write His Own Wedding Vows as Soon as He Learns How to Spell ‘Psyched’
LEAWOOD, KS — Football star Travis Kelce will reportedly write his own vows for his upcoming wedding to American pop star Taylor Swift just as soon as he learns how to spell "psyched".
Trump Vows To Nationalize As Many Private Companies As It Takes To Defeat Socialism
WASHINGTON, DC — President Donald Trump announced this week his administration plans on nationalizing as many private businesses and companies as possible in order to fight socialism.